Tuesday, March 8, 2011

“Does this make me look fat?”

It’s Fat Tuesday and for all us Christians out there it’s one last day of indulgence before we enter the Lenten season. Mardi Gras is actually translated to mean “Fat Tuesday”.  (Hm, somehow I always thought it meant something different.) I guess my French is a little rusty.  Anyway, tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent. A time of sacrifice and preparation for the events linked to the death and resurrection of Jesus. Although these days it just means the fish sandwich is back on the McDonald’s menu. 

I haven’t been what I would call a practicing Catholic for quite a while. Sure I still have my core faith beliefs but I don’t go to Church or make any extended offerings to the Catholic community. I have a deeply ingrained sense of my faith and do not feel the need to go through the formulaic rites associated with the Catholic Mass. I appreciate the moral compass my Catholic upbringing has instilled in me and I do try to live by those basic of Catholic teachings, “treat others as you would like to be treated”, and those famous words uttered by Jesus as he hung on the cross,  “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

I also appreciate the history of Catholicism. I wonder about its early days underground in the Roman Empire to the horrors of the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisitions. Through the Puritan and Protestant derivations to the current Evangelical applications, Catholicism has had quite a ride through history. Sometimes I’m not sure I can be part of a religion that killed and murdered its way through centuries of armed conflict. I sometimes think I’m somewhat of a Caddhist, a Catholic Buddhist hybrid.  I certainly believe in God but I don’t think it has any desire for us to cause harm to each other, or even to those that don’t believe in what I believe in. That whole vengeful God of the Old Testament just doesn’t seem like my kind of God. Plus all the self mutilation in the early Bible is a little too much to take.
 
“I am the Lord your God, now cut off the tip of your Penis. It will please me”. 
“I’m sorry Lord, did you just ask me to cut off the tip of my penis?”
“I did. Was I unclear?”
“No, no. I just… like how much of the tip?”
“Oh, just that little bit over the top, that extra skin… you know.”
“Yeah.”
“You know.”
“I got it Lord! Man.”

I digress, today is about letting yourself feel a little of that hedonism we so often deny ourselves as we try to follow our own moral compass. I’m not saying it’s time to rape and pillage like a Godless heathen, but I do think its chance to have a little fun with your faith and flash your boobs. (By the way I’m having a boob flashing party later tonight so feel free to stop by ladies. God told me it might be cool so…. you know.)  And no, you don’t look fat Tuesday.

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