Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Hurray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.
He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.
He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.
I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Hurray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.
He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.
He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.
I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.
I knew a shorter version of this poem when I was in second grade but I was happy to find this longer version. Unfortunately I do not know the author and cannot give credit where credit is due. But I thought it would be appropriate for this day of Fools.
April Fool’s Day is still one of my all time favorite pagan holidays and goes as far back as the year 1392 when it is eluded too in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. One of my favorite April Fool’s gags is from 2005 when, a news story was posted on the official NASA website purporting to have pictures of water on Mars. The picture actually was just a picture of a glass of water on a Mars candy bar. That’s right up my humor alley.
Sadly, I personally haven’t performed any pranks or jokes on April Fool’s Day in years. I did have some pretty good ones as a kid though. There was a little less seriousness about a small boy telling his father he got kicked out of school for fighting and then dropping the old, “APRIL FOOLS!!!” bomb. Those were indeed the days.
I hope everyone enjoys this April Fools and remembers not to believe everything they read, see or hear today. Also, I've been hiding the fact that I am a one legged, Chinese, albino mute from everyone for years. I just thought I'd put that out there. Nothing like honesty to cleanse the soul.
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