Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Texting Dick Tracy

Last night I was watching Warren Beatty’s ‘Dick Tracy’ on TV. I remember when that movie first came out and the entire hubbub it caused. In fact, I sincerely blame that movie for the resurgence of swing music and the idea of jazzy type night clubs. Or at least it planted the idea of those kinds of places in the young minds of entertainment entrepreneurs. That whole Fedora thing and retro style, yeah, I blame Warren Beatty.

I watched the movie till about 11:00 and made my move to head to bed. It had been a long Monday and I was looking forward to a nice and relaxing night’s sleep. But no sooner had I started to drift off into a dream world of bartending robots and a friend’s husband; my phone chimed with a new text message, and then another. I was reluctant to look at it. I wanted to get back to my confusing dream, which was already fading from memory.

I decided to check (you never know when it might be an emergency) and it was the Ex-girlfriend. She had been having a few cocktails and suddenly felt the urge to get my input on a few unresolved issues she had. Which she immediately regretted sending. I was courteous and obliged her to the best of my ability. I was even complimentary. Suddenly things got hostile and she got a little mean and to this moment I’m not even sure why. The texting went back and forth for a while until I finally had to state that I was going to sleep and that she should probably consider it as well.

But that almost never ends it. I tossed and turned and was up again at three o’clock in the morning wondering what would have brought on such strange and seemingly misplaced anger. I felt sorry that she was still so stuck on our old issues. I have made my peace with what we were and what we are and felt/thought that we had moved past any old resentment. I certainly don’t resent her or have any feelings of ill toward her. It just seemed that she was still pretty unresolved on some things and I don’t know why.

So now that troubles me. Why would she still be so upset? It’s been something like four years since the relationship ended. I see no reason to constantly rehash the mistakes I may have made or the ones we both made. The past is the past and there’s no changing it. The past is prologue, as they say, for our lives. We can only move forward, grateful for the times we had and wiser from the experience.   

She was one in a million, but that being said, there are millions out there. I won’t let her hurt me anymore. She’s said things about me and to me that aren’t necessary or true. The time for hurting each other is long past its prime and I’m just not interested in doing that anymore. It’s pointless.

She is becoming my Breathless Mahoney instead of my Tess Trueheart, and that makes me feel disappointed. I don’t know why she asks me these things and then puts a gun in my gut when she doesn’t get the answer she wants. But instead of pulling the trigger, she just walks away. Leaving me terribly confused, abused and sore.

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