Today is one of those days where I feel like Junior Bonner. From the moment I woke up I feel like I’ve been riding the wildest and most aggressive bull ever. I think the name of the bull is Tornado Nutsquish. Also known as Thursday.
It’s really been a fast paced morning with all kinds of phone calls and meetings and all the while I’ve been wearing a big smile on my face. It’s a completely phony smile but I’m wearing it nonetheless. I can’t let the bull riding crowd that’s cheering me on know that I broke my spine while flopping around on good old Tornado Nutsquish.
I plan on taking Tornado Nutsquish outside the arena and putting him down. I might get him really drunk first and then put him down. I have a feeling he might grow on me though and in the end, old Tornado and I might become best of friends. Plus being a bull, I’m sure he’s pretty smooth with all the single ladies. Perhaps I’ll cut him some slack, he is a bull after all and I am trying to ride him.
Plus I’m not much of a cowboy. I always wished I was though, but I’m a city slicker for sure. I’ve only been on a horse once and it kept stopping mid-trot to take a crap. I could give him a little jolt with my heels and he’d look back at me like, “Hey, I’m crapping here. Make yourself useful and get me a magazine”.
I digress, Thursday is rocking and reeling and shifting right under my feet and I’m doing everything to sustain verticality. I do feel like a bull rider at times though, just trying to hang on for seven seconds or so before being hurled to the ground and nearly trampled. I’m sure I’m not the only person that feels that way.
I don’t know that many folks who have a sure handle on their lives and are merely doing their best to stay on their own metaphorical bulls. I would have to say I know three people that had taken the reins of their bulls and have turned them into passive, reliable forms of transportation, all the way to the bank. But most of us are just average bull riders trying to win that coveted brass belt buckle that says, “King of the Cowboys”.