I’m Cucumber Man.
I pretend to be
cool
but I’m not.
My cape flaps in
the
summer winds as I
hang on for dear
life
on the ledge of
things
suddenly seeming
out of my control.
My battles are epic
in the landscape of
my mind’s Metropolis.
I’ve laid waste to
years of potential
and
productivity
through cold
and hot wars with
my arch
nemesis, Count
Anxiety and
his Legion of
Doubt.
The fights pitch
between
confidence and cowardice,
honor and
stupidity,
patience versus
impatience,
all while wreaking
havoc
through the
innocent lives
of the city
dwellers.
It’s a stalemate
most of
the time, with
neither side
claiming victory or
defeat.
Usually Drunk Man
appears
to mediate a peace,
but his wise
words are quickly
forgotten once
Super Drunk Man
crashes in.
Cucumber Man just
leaves because
he doesn’t have
time for that and
Count Anxiety has
turned back into his
alter-ego, Fuck It
Man.
Either way, they’re
all wearing
masks and they’re
all me.
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