Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I’m Not Joking

It’s serious.
She’s still on my mind
and I wonder about her

I shouldn’t though,
she wouldn’t want me to.
In fact, she’d hate that I
wonder as much as I do.

It’s my lot in life though.
I hate her beauty only because
I want it for myself. I don’t
want to share.

I want her laughter for me
and no one else. I want her
tears and frustration and
the little fists of aggravation
pounding against my chest.

I greedily wander through
the ruins of my memories
clutching so hard to the photos
of the moments and the smiles
and the jokes.

It’s a phantom limb of a
relationship and sometimes
I can still feel it tingling but I’m
the only one who senses it.

So I cower away in the dark
spots of the night, imbibing like
the world is going to end and I’ll
never know love again.

I moan, again and again
only to find myself in front of this
blinking screen trying to explain to
myself why I’m telling you this.

You hardly care. If this was in a store,
you wouldn’t buy it. 
I’m serious. 
I’m not

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