Reflected

            “I just possibly couldn’t stay”, stuttered Jeffrey as he put down his tea cup, “I really must be going. I’ve a terribly long day ahead of me and I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you any further. You were quite marvelous and I hope I can see you again very soon”.

            Sandra closed her robe a little as Jeffrey stood up from the breakfast table to retrieve his coat from the floor near the couch. He’d thrown it there as he and Sandra kissed like two people possessed with Cupid’s poison. She watched as Jeffrey collected his coat and gloves. She felt her thin robe was now ineffective in hiding her previously uninhibited bare breasts.

“When will I see you again”, she asked, already knowing the likely answer.

“Hopefully this coming weekend. This week is so busy for me. I will certainly call you though. I really had a wonderful time with you”, said Jeffrey.

“I did too. It was nice”, said Sandra.

            Sandra stirred her tea in her cup as Jeffrey stopped at the little hallway mirror by the front door and checked his hair.  He turned back to her and she stood from the breakfast table.

“So, I will call you later”, said Jeffrey.

“Yes, please do”, said Sandra as she walked toward Jeffrey.

            He leaned forward and gave her a weak and passionless kiss on the lips and then fumbled with opening Sandra’s apartment door.  She had to reach around him and unlock the door. He chuckled nervously and slunk into the apartment hallway and then quickly rushed down the three flights of stairs. Sandra closed the door and went to her window that over looked the courtyard. She watched as Jeffrey exited the building. She noted that he didn’t look back or up to see if she was watching him.

            She returned to the breakfast table and sat down. She tried not to let herself feel like a fool for letting this man charm his way into her bedroom. He wasn’t even all that charming or exceptionally good looking. He’d made her laugh but he was probably just confidently drunk. Drunk and able to say all those smooth sweet nothings that Sandra actually needed to hear.

It was her fault for being this way. She had promised herself that she would try to get out of the shadow of her previously cloistered lifestyle and experience the pleasures that sex could provide. It was something adventurous and a little dangerous. It was also leaving her feeling empty and unfulfilled.

            Now, sitting in her kitchen in front of a cold cup of tea, wearing a thin sexy robe for no reason, she felt like a fool. A fool searching for romance and love in the worst possible way.  She rapped her fingernails on the breakfast table and chewed slightly on her bottom lip. She suddenly really wanted to take a shower, wear sweatpants all day and eat as many terrible things as possible.

“No”, she said to the empty kitchen, “I’m going for a run”.

            She picked up her tea cup and the half full cup Jeffrey left behind in his hasty exit and dropped them in her sink. She walked to her bedroom, tore off the robe and changed into her running gear. She told herself that a confident woman doesn’t let herself be defined by a lousy one night stand. They take life by the reins and make it their own. She was a confident woman and not going to let the Jeffreys of the world ruin her.

            With her running gear on she moved to her front door and looked at herself in the mirror. She had forgotten she had done the whole “smokey eyes” make-up thing last night and it had smeared down her cheeks. She looked like Alice Cooper. It was like she was wearing a disguise. She kept looking at her reflection, leaning in closer, looking at herself in the eyes and wondering where she had gone; or wondered rather, who she was becoming.

            Sandra turned from the little hallway mirror and went to her bathroom. She washed her face, fixed her hair and silenced her thoughts as best she could.

“No more Jeffreys”, she promised herself aloud. She grabbed her iPod and programmed her playlist with upbeat songs. She wiped her eyes and when the music started she went out into the world to run away from whomever it was that was looking back at her from the little hallway mirror.