All the Party Popes

            Jeff checked his wristwatch. He was still feeling pretty jetlagged from his flight two days ago from New York to Vatican City to cover the election of the new Pope. He figured it was around 11:00 in the morning New York Time when another black cloud billowed from the roof of the Sistine Chapel. The crowd seemed to sigh a little bit and Jeff went about taking minor notes for his article. He wanted to try and capture the mood of the regular Catholic but they all seemed so terribly devout and dedicated to the Holy Father, that getting an unbiased opinion of the Papal election from a regular guy on the street seemed impossible.

            He looked at his watch again as the crowd that had gathered in the square started to disperse. He thought it was odd that he was still wearing a wristwatch. It seemed no one around really did anymore. It was just an oddity of the time it seemed. He felt somehow old fashioned to have a wristwatch while everyone else around him seemed to rely solely on cell phones for the time of day. Which was now mid-afternoon and the Italians were getting ready for supper.

            The Italians and Rome were quite a sight for Jeff. They were the perfect blend of the old world and the new. There were modern and efficient buses to and from the ancient buildings that dotted the Vatican and Roman landscape. He guessed that having a wristwatch in Rome seemed somewhat fitting considering how this eternal city had managed to age gracefully against the backdrop of the ever evolving world. It was great background for his story; the ancient election process of the new Pope against the immediate information age.

            Jeff walked through the streets for a while trying to get a flavor of the Holy City. He’d never been before and he wanted to get a real taste for it. He’d watch the Rick Steve’s travelogues from PBS and felt he had a working knowledge of the city but still felt awed by its age and seemingly unending survival. He stopped by a small café for a rest and to take a look at his guide book and take a few notes.  He always had to have a notebook with him; otherwise all his genius thoughts would fade away before he could get to his laptop. He started scribbling some notes as a casual waiter brought him a coffee.

            “You here for the new Pope,” asked the waiter.

            “Yes. I’m a reporter, covering the event,” said Jeff.

            “Ah, you put me in your story. I tell you all about the great Popes,” said the waiter.

            “You know about the Popes,” said Jeff.

            The waiter nodded and smiled. He wiped his hand on his white apron and pulled a chair out at Jeff’s little café table. He extended his hand to Jeff.

            “I’m Paulo, I give Vatican tours sometime,” said Paulo.

            “Jeff Minor, nice to meet you. So what can you tell me about the Pope’s,” asked Jeff as he shook Paulo’s hand.

            “The Popes are a crazy, party bunch,” said Paulo.

            “A party bunch? What do you mean,” asked Jeff.

            Jeff re-opened his notebook and was ready to finally get his word on the street view about the pope’s election. How good it was that he happened upon this little coffee place.

            “The pope, he and all the popes, they have a long history of being cashews,” said Paulo.

            “You mean nuts. A long history of being nuts,” said Jeff.

            “Yes. Nuts,” Paulo smiled and laughed, “the popes are nuts.”

            Jeff started to wonder if this might not be the right guy to talk to about the pope. What could a waiter at a little café have to say about one of the most powerful people in the history of humanity?

            “It is said that Pope Julius II had three illegitimate daughters while pope,” said Paulo.

            “When was that?”

            “He was pope from 1503 to 1513 I think. Pope Paul III, had four illegitimate children. He was Pope from 1534 to 1549,” said Paulo.

            “You’re very firm on these dates, how do you know that’s correct,” asked Jeff.

            Paulo smiled and looked over at the barista and motioned for two more coffees.

            “I tell you, I give tours. I know,” said Paulo.

            Jeff nodded and wrote the dates in his notebook to be researched later. But it was very interesting, he’d never heard of any Popes that had children. He asked Paulo to continue.

            “Pope John XII from I think the year 955 murdered several people and was caught in bed with another man’s wife,” continued Paulo.

            “Well, that’s a very long time ago. Is there anything on more recent popes,” asked Jeff.

            “Reporters, always want the dirt on the new guys. No appreciation for the history,” said Paulo.

            “I’m sorry. I’m just not sure my readers will be interested in Pope’s from that long ago. I’m interested though. I think it’s fascinating,” said Jeff.

            Paulo looked at him in the face for a very long time. He sipped from his little espresso that the barista had placed in front of him. Paulo then lit a cigarette and blew the smoke up in the air. He motioned to the wafting smoke with his hand.

           

            “You wait for that? The white smoke, and then you leave Rome,” asked Paulo.

            “That is the plan,” said Jeff.  

            “That’s a shame. You should stay, learn, and see,” said Paulo.

Paulo stood up from the table and pushed his chair in toward Jeff. Jeff wasn’t sure what was going on.

“You come tomorrow and I tell you about Pope Alexander VI and his ‘Joust of the Whores’. It is a great story. You come back tomorrow,” said Paulo.

“I will. Thank you,” said Jeff and he put his hand out toward Paulo.

Paulo took his hand and shook it. He then turned back toward the café and disappeared inside. Jeff paid for the coffee’s and started strolling back toward his hotel. He’d come back if he saw black smoke tomorrow. But if there was white, his assignment would be done and he wouldn’t need to see Paulo again. But then, maybe he would come back. Jeff check is wristwatch.