Friday, August 9, 2013

The Burden

     I can finally say that I am now unemployed. I have been let go from my employer since there really wasn't enough work for me to do. If you're a regular reader of this blog then you might know that I spent a great deal of time complaining about my lack of consistent work and now I have none. I'm okay with it though. I was a little upset at first but now I've gone through the grieving process and I am at acceptance.

     I didn't much like work anyway. Well, that particular work. Sitting a cubicle is just so not what I want to do. It's taken me a very long time to realize that I have been basically faking my way through almost all my jobs because I thought it was simply what I HAD to do. It was a means of survival instead of any practical enjoyment.

     A full time job filled with mundane tasks and boring chores is not a life. I'd much rather have a life than a soul crushing, curse laden, mind kicker job. It's just who I am. I am a round peg trying to fit into a square hole (in more ways than one, cough). I don't like the square, but I was taught and brainwashed into believing that I didn't have any choice and I had to fit into that hole no matter what. "In the tree, part of the tree", as it were. But know I know that I don't have to be so limited.

     The burden of it weighing on me, pushing me down into a human-like paste, has been lifted and I finally feel free to try and make choices that will actually make me feel better about my station in life. I've been cowardly about most things in my life up to this point. I've been incredibly practical and insufferably morbid because I was doing something that brought me absolutely no pride or joy and felt limited by that.

     Now that smashing feeling has been lifted and I am slightly free to make choices that will be rewarding instead of a constant stinging feeling in my soul. So, dear readers, if you have any job opportunities that you think would reflect the best parts of me, please let me know. I can only offer my gratitude and praise.


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