Wednesday, February 12, 2014


            “Are you going to finish that,” asked Gary.
            “What, my waffle? Yeah, I’m gonna finish it,” said Ed.
            “Oh, just cause I thought with your diet and everything that you weren’t going to. Maybe you shouldn’t,” said Gary.
            “Dude, I’m not on a diet and I’m just trying to eat my breakfast,” said Ed.
            “Oh, I thought with your weight issues that you’d be on a diet. I mean, that’s so much syrup on that waffle. It’s gooey with syrup,” said Gary lustfully.
            “You’re a jerk,” said Ed.

             Ed cut a piece of his waffle and hoisted it to his mouth. Syrup trailed along the plate in a long string and found its way to Ed’s chin.

             “Ick, watching you eat makes me sick,” said Gary.
            “Watching you breath makes me sick,” said Ed as he chewed the thick waffle.
            “Dude…,” said Gary.

            Gary tried to roll forward but his girth prevented any forward motion. Ed smiled a syrupy smile and took another bite of his waffle.

             “If anyone needs a diet, it’s you tubby,” said Ed.
            “I have a gland issue,” said Gary.
            “Yeah, mammary glands,” said Ed as he pointed at Gary’s massive man boobs.
            Gary looked wounded through his heavy face, which reddened at Ed’s barbs.

             “Why do you come over here,” asked Gary.
            “You’re my brother and I love you, that’s why,” said Ed.
            “No, I think you just come here to torment me,” said Gary.
            “Yeah, there’s that too. But I do love you bro,” said Ed.

            Gary looked to his left for his grabber device but remembered that he had left it on his get around scooter. That scooter, the thing that kept him mobile but still a figure of ridicule. He was fat. He knew it. He didn’t need children and teenagers and old women laughing or shaking their heads at him as he scootered his way through the Walgreen’s. He stopped feeling human at 300 pounds. Now at 450 pounds he was practically a shut-in, some elephantine man, an elephant man. At least John Merrick had his dignity and proclaimed that he “was not an animal!” Gary sighed.

             “You know mom wants to come and visit you,” said Ed as he placed his knife and fork down on his empty waffle plate.
            “Yeah, but don’t let her. I don’t want her to see me like this,” said Gary.
            “Then when is she going to see you? You’re always going to be like this as far as I can tell,” said Ed.
            “You’re not helping me,” said Gary.
            “You’re not helping yourself,” said Ed.
            “I CAN’T,” yelled Gary.

             Ed stepped back from his larger than life brother and looked at the fear and sadness in his eyes. He took a deep breath as Gary lowered his head into his thick neck.

            “I’m sorry man, I just, you know, want to motivate you to get back to the way you were, like, when we were young,” said Ed.
            “Well, telling me that I’m morbidly obese and that I’m a Jabba the Hutt or I’m some disgusting thing isn’t helpful,” said Gary.
            “I’m sorry man. I just…you know… I dunno, I just want you to be better,” said Ed.
           Gary reached up and wiped the sweat off his forehead. His hair had gotten too long since he hadn’t been able to go to a barber. He brushed his hair from over his ears.

             “Ed, would you cut my hair?”
            “Of course brother. Of course,” said Ed.

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