I Can't Remember

I can’t remember a time
that didn’t involve
stairs.

I was always driving

up,
on a staircase.

To my mother,

to my house,
to the place,
where I belonged.

But when I got there,

to the top of the stairs,
I didn’t want to turn
the nob.
it was me, the petrified
kid. The scared me.

I still feel that at the

top of my third floor
apartment,
the fear of a child.

Never knowing what’s

on the other side of the
door..