Tuesday, May 5, 2015

I Love Times New Roman

             Where has all this hatred for Times New Roman come from? I think it is official looking and crisp. Yet the rest of the universe has deemed it un-cool and illegible. It’s the standard bearer of my entire typing history. It’s the closest to the actual typewriter font that my heart normally yearns for. I have, however, seen several articles on the never wrong internet that Times New Roman is antiquated and should be thrown into the sun.

            I love the indent (even if my blog site doesn’t seem to care about indenting) on Times New Roman; it is clean and illustrates the movement of a thought along a page. I just don’t like the new look of things and maybe that’s due to my tenuous grasp on the past, a past that keeps getting longer as my future gets shorter, relatively speaking of course. So of course I want to keep the things that make me feel secure as close as possible. I mean, I still have my VHS copies of Star Wars and Saving Private Ryan, still wrapped in the original shrink wrap.

            That’s me though. I’ve been told I have to change the font on my resume since Times New Roman is no longer the acceptable business font. It’s something called Calibri, which looks far too skinny to me to be official in any way. It looks anemic and hungry. I imagine it crawling across the desert for weeks searching for food and water, only to waste away into thin nothingness.

Times New Roman is bold and forceful. Heck, it has the word ROMAN in it, which as you well know, the Roman people were once the dominating super power on the planet. I’ve never heard of the Calibri Dynasty or even what peoples they might have conquered in their march toward early globalization and domination. Calibri seems to whither in the mere shadow of Times New Roman.

Times New Roman is a gladiator of several computer ages, while Calibri is the new upstart on the block, pushing the other fonts around like he owns the joint, without the actual street cred. Probably wasn’t even there at the start of the whole internet thing. Calibri was probably crying into its elbow like a kid at the playground that was ironically pushed down by Times New Roman.

Although I suppose every Empire eventually crumbles and the Fall of Times New Roman has finally come. It’s a sad time for me but it doesn’t mean I have to stop using it at home. Hopefully, once I get a job and they have their own format for letters and mailings and e-mails, probably using Calibri, I will just have to accept it and smile. It’s at home I’ll get to enjoy the noble and crisp character of Times New Roman.

I just hope the unwarranted hate for Times New Roman turns into respect and gratitude, much like our human appreciation for the ruins of Rome.

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