The Paranormal Team from the University arrived at Megan’s and Jamal’s new house. They unloaded two vans and an SUV full of all sorts of cameras, motion detectors, infrared lights, night vision goggles and a hearty sense of self importance. Megan sighed. Her boyfriend Jamal had been frightened by what he called “Phantasm Noises” coming from the attic so he called the University. She’d heard them too over the two months they’d been living together but just chalked it up to the house settling or just being old. It was an old house. She hoped they would be able to fix it up slowly over the course of their relationship.
“Where can we plug this in,” asked the Leader of the paranormal group, Professor Montgomery.
“Anywhere is fine, just as long as it’s out of the way,” said Megan.
Megan didn’t believe in ghost hunting. She followed the old axiom that “seeing was believing”. She wasn’t one to succumb to the supernatural. She just took it for what it was. Jamal on the other hand was terribly superstitious. He threw spilled salt over his shoulder, wouldn’t walk under ladders, looked for four leaf clovers and kept a vial of holy water in his nightstand. Megan through it was ridiculous, but he was a great lover and one of the most compassionate guys she’d ever met. So she forgave him his superstitions.
“We might have to drill a hole in this wall to run the cable for the thermal,” said Professor Montgomery.
“Not on your frigging life,” said Megan.
“It’s fine,” said Jamal.
Megan turned to Jamal and gave him the death stare Megan had tried, pleaded with Jamal, not to invite these weirdoes into their new house. She said there was probably a bird or something that got into the attic at night and that was it. There was nothing supernatural about it. Jamal told her that he heard voices in the attic and saw strange floating orbs. She told him it was probably from the TV and dust particles. He said that he just wanted them to be safe in their new house and it was for both of them. Megan finally agreed to let these nerds in and perform an overnight Ghost Hunt.
Professor Montgomery gave a drill to one of his assistances and he drilled a hole right through the baseboard near the bottom of the stairs. Megan cringed. The assistant ran a cord through the hole and plugged into the wall socket behind the TV. He almost knocked the TV off the stand and Megan lunged forward to save it.
“Please be careful,” she said.
The assistant shrugged and went back to setting up the equipment. Megan could feel the vein on her forehead throbbing and she felt very flush. She steadied the TV and went to the kitchen where Jamal was sitting at a laptop. He was watching each of the observation cameras come on line and he was rubbing his hands together in what appeared to be boyish glee.
“They better find some serious ghost shit in this house or I might have to dump you,” said Megan.
“Honey, these guys are the best. They would have had their own TV show if there weren’t already so many paranormal investigative shows on already. They’re the best,” said Jamal.
“I don’t think you’re hearing me Jamal. If they don’t find something, I’m dumping you,” said Megan.
Jamal waved her off and watched the laptop screen as the camera picture from the attic came on-line.
“That’s a great view of the Attic. Right where I told them I saw the orbs,” said Jamal.
Megan rolled her eyes and opened the fridge and took out a bottle of white wine. She got a glass from the cupboard and poured herself a healthy dose of vino.
“Do you think that’s wise? It’s 1:30 in the afternoon,” said Jamal.
Megan looked back at Jamal and took a big sip from her glass and made an exaggerated gulp and satisfying sigh.
“Real mature,” said Jamal.
Megan stepped out of the kitchen and back into the living room where three assistants of Professor Montgomery were sitting in a circle. They all had their phones out and were all on Twitter. Megan stepped around their Twitter Jerk and went into the dining room. It was the only room where the paranormal investigators had ignored. Their early “testing” had shown no paranormal activity so they thought they should concentrate on the attic and other rooms. It was quiet in the dining room.
“What a ruckus,” said Captain Jonah as his spectral form took shape in the chair next to Megan.
“I know, right,” agreed Megan.
“You’re boyfriend is a dweeb,” said Captain Jonah, “you should run away with me like we talked about.”
Megan looked at the colorful but shimmering shape of Captain Jonah, the former resident of this old house. He died at sea while whaling but never really accepted the fact that he was dead.
“No Jonah. He’s not a dweeb. He just can’t see what I see and he finds it frustrating,” she said.
“Dump him and run away with me,” said Captain Jonah again.
Megan took another sip of wine and looked at the old, but very handsome face of the Captain. She wondered what his thick black hair would feel like between her fingers, if his hands were rough, if he would kiss her like she thought men of his era kissed women. She closed her eyes and tried to clear the thought of them in bed together from her mind.
“I love when you think that way,” said Captain Jonah.
“Even dead, you men are all alike,” said Megan.
The Captain winked at her and vanished from the table. Jamal walked in on her.
“Who were you talking to babe,” he asked.
“No one hon. No one,” said Megan.
She got up from the table and put her arm around Jamal’s neck. She kissed him on the cheek.
“I hope your ghost hunt goes well. I’m sorry I’m out of patience with it,” she said.
“Thanks babe. I know you don’t believe in any of this stuff but I appreciate you putting up with it,” said Jamal.
They hugged each other and Megan looked back toward the dining room table. Captain Jonah had reappeared and had folded his arms over his chest. He rolled his eyes and then disappeared.