Perspective by the Slice

                “So I’ll have the cheese pizza,” said Gary to the young man at the register.

                “What size sir,” asked the young man.

                “Oh, ummmmmmm……. large,” said Gary.

                Eight Guys Pizza was bustling with activity and customers stood in bunches around the four small tables by the large front picture window.  They ate their various pizza slices in their own various ways. They were all in a hurry it seemed. No one these days seemed to have any time for a casual slice. They had to choke it down as fast as they could so they could get back to work, or get back to shopping or back online. They seemed like animals, nudging and grunting at each other. Gary didn’t like them, but he did like the pizza.

                “So that’s one large cheese pizza, nothing else? No other toppings? Just cheese,” asked the young man at the register.

                “That’s right, just cheese, to go,” said Gary.

                The young man shrugged and entered the order into the register and Gary gave him a credit card to swipe.  Gary waited for his receipt, rapping his fingers along the greasy, yellowed Formica counter top. It was scratched and worn in many places. Gary could see the names of lovers, pledging to be together forever in the counter top. “Jaime and Chico, 4-eva,” and “TDogg + MissThing”, scratched into the surface of the old counter top.  He snickered and wondered if indeed Jamie and Chico were still together.

                The young man handed Gary back his credit card and Gary stepped away from the small counter as the next person in line stepped up to place their order.  On Gary’s planet there was no pizza. On Gary’s planet there was none of the essential ingredients of pizza. They mostly survived on vitamin infused gel packets and a substance called melmel; which to Gary’s palette tasted like hot glue and paper. Earth’s pizza was Gary’s vacation and he certainly was glad to have it.  

                He could only get to Earth every few years when his intergalactic postal route brought him within the solar system.  A few things had changed since his last visit but overall Earth was still the same churning and bubbling cesspool the rest of the universe had written off as a lost cause. The universe’s inhabitants found nothing redeeming about Earth and were pretty much waiting for the inhabitants to kill each other and the planet off.

                Gary liked the pizza though. It was good everywhere on the planet and there was nothing else like it in the Milky Way. He felt bad that once the inhabitants of Earth destroyed each other that the marvels of Pizza would probably die with them.  However, being from another world and having seen the mysteries of space and the rise and fall of multiple planetary civilizations; Gary couldn’t really bring himself to care too much for the humanoid species on Earth. They were doomed and that was fine with Gary.  But he’d miss the pizza.

                 “Gary,” shouted the clerk, “your pizza is ready.”