A year, like
any other, but unlike
so many
before.
This one
came in, stumbled at
the
threshold, spilled its wine on
the white
carpet and didn’t
apologize.
It was lost from there.
Like a lot
of drunks, 2016 didn’t
intend to do
it. It was just an accident.
A mistake.
It started off with the highest
ideals only
to fall into a house of ill repute,
with cocaine
crusted around his bloodied nostrils.
It just
happened.
So what if
2016 was a serial killer bent
on
eliminating the worlds beloved
celebrities,
musicians and idealists,
it also took
care of a lot of bad people
no one will
mourn. Who will remember
2016 did
that? “Nobody,” snorts 2016.
2016 wanted
to go to the classy bar,
the one
downtown, where the tablecloths
are white,
the drinks are fancy and the people
are
beautiful. But the bouncers wouldn’t let
2016 in.
They’d had quite enough of 2015’s
shenanigans
and knew better.
2016 didn’t
take it well, it went
on a bender
of epic proportions. Drinking
and drugging
its way from home to home,
heart to
heart, and funeral parlor to funeral
parlor. Shushing people like Dudley Moore
in Arthur
and tripping over imagined bumps.
The world
just watched as 2016 bumped into
furniture,
street lamps, movie stars, gorillas,
politicians,
cops, robbers, the guilty, and the
innocent
alike. The world just did what enablers
do; they
looked the other way and hoped 2016
would just
figure it out on its own.
So here we
sit, 2016 and me, at the
end of a
dusty bar, dust motes drifting
through the
morning sunlight, swirling
around our
breakfast beers, the jukebox
is stuck on “American
Pie” by Don McLean,
and 2016
doesn’t feel well.
“I think I’m
gonna throw up,” said 2016.
“You
probably should,” I said.
“I mean,
what happened? Where did it go
so wrong?
Was it me? Was it them,” asked 2016.
“I really
don’t know. I was too busy watching you
moon
astronauts and eliminate critical thinking,” I said.
“Right,
right, that was pretty funny,” said 2016.
2016 got up
from its leathery stool and stretched.
“Maybe I’ll
just go to the crapper,” said 2016.
“Yeah, maybe
you should,” I said.
“Tell 2017
not to take my seat,” said 2016 as it stumbled
toward the
restroom.
“Sure. I’ll
do that,” I mumbled.
I looked
down toward the opposite end of the bar,
a young 2017
was playing with a thin drink straw in
a fancy
cocktail, with fruit and a little parasol.
2017 was
eyeing us with lust.
“Not yet
baby,” I said, “Not yet.”
2017 pouted
and turned away.
I heard a
flush from the restroom and 2016
walked back
into the bar room
with its
pants around its ankles.
“One more
round barkeep,” 2016 shouted.
The
bartender frowned but got the drinks.
“I broke
your toilet too, by the way,” said 2016.