Positivity

I’ve been trying very hard to keep a positive attitude in these writings. I noticed that for a while there I was just mired in the muck and mud of everyday doldrums. But today I feel it’s okay to get a little down and say how much I hate you.

Not “you” specifically, the general you, the royal you, I suppose. I can’t stand you and your whole operation. Whatever you’ve got going on there I find it terribly irritating and I would like you to stop and go somewhere where no one can see or hear you. Like Space. Go to space.

Yes, after the wonderful joy of a lazy snow day and the return of every day-ness I find myself really displeased with most things. Work for one; if I get one more claim where people fell down because of snow or ice I swear I might take a hostage.  If you were too stupid to go outside during a blizzard then you have no right to claim any injury. I really hate you people.

I can’t understand why my ride into work this morning took an hour and ten minutes. I mean, I guess I can understand that everything came to a standstill yesterday because of the snow…… no, wait, I was still able to dig my own car out and take care of a couple of things. Why weren’t snow plows and salt trucks out on the Eden’s? I’m pretty sure it stopped snowing at around noon yesterday so, what’s the deal? Arrrrggggg!

I’m slowly decompressing from the Hulk like rage I feel inside. I think I actually started to turn green there for a few moments. Okay, deep breaths and I need to stop shaking my leg. Relax and take it easy. It’s not all that bad. I suppose it’s good that I am alive and no one is trying to kill me. That I know of.

Okay, I’ll try to put this back on a positive spin. I have to accept the fact that people in general are as dumb as a bag of wet rags and they have no ability to control their thoughts or actions. I have to accept that being lonely is just part of your thirties, unless you’re married and have children (sniff). I have to accept that I made myself a damn fine cup of coffee this morning. Mmm.

I have to accept that things don’t always work out the way we wish and life will go on whether we want it to or not. Another deep breath. Okay, I don’t hate you but I’m highly suspect of what you’ve got going on.  Deeper breath. Okay, let’s do this crap and get it over with.  

The snow must go on… if only in my dreams

I thought I should try and stay away from the snow topic this morning but that just doesn’t seem likely. It’s on everyone’s mind. I have a feeling however that the Blizzard of 2011 will not be all that powerful and will only result in two to four inches of snow, in Chicago anyway. I’m sure outlying areas will see significantly more snow but I think the city will be mostly spared.  (Prove me wrong Old Man Winter, prove me wrong!) I’d love a snow day for sure.

I think the last snow day I had was in 1997, Chicago got hit with a pretty significant snowfall that January. According to the Chicago Tribune archives it was around January 10, 1997 that we had that last really heavy snow. I remember it only because I was sitting, looking out the window, extremely excited I didn’t have to go to work. I was filled with the joy only children feel when school is cancelled due to snow. I had a Catholic school education and that school didn’t close for any reason. So I don’t think we had much of any snow days when I was in school. Trudging through mountains of snow to school was apparently some sort of Catholic penance.  So not to have to go to work due to excessive snowfall was like a miracle.

But that was the last time, 13 years ago was the last time I had a snow day. That’s so amazing to me. Meanwhile if Louisianan gets half an inch the whole state shuts down for three days, Lucky Cajuns.

How would I spend my snow day, if such an event would come to pass? I’d probably go back to bed after I got the call from my boss that the office was closed. Then I suppose I get up around the crack of eleven and look out the window and stretch. I might suit up and take a step towards digging my car out. I might bug my neighbor a bit, asking her if she wanted to go play in the snow. (Fingers crossed) It’s been a long time since I played in the snow. I would consider the construction of a massive fortification and declare war on all whom trespass and unleash a hell of snowballs and boiling oil. Okay, maybe not the oil.  Then, after getting too cold to continue to play I would go back inside and probably make some hot chocolate and relax in front of the warming glow of the television. I might open a bottle of wine after that and look out the window, marveling at nature’s beautiful winter fury.

I’d go to sleep happy that I’d had an opportunity to have some snow fun, but slowly rue the fact that it was over and I’d have to get back to the real world and my job. Snow days can be cruel like that in the end I suppose.  But again, we might only get a few inches and all those snow day dreams will have to remain just that.

Keep Calm

I’m not sure if whether the weather will wither our human souls or not, but it seems to have everyone a little nervous. The mid-west and east are expected to get punched in the face soon with some explicit blizzard conditions. I just want to take a moment to remind everyone to stay calm.

Winter is not something new, unless you’re less than twelve months old or just moved here from a place where snow doesn’t exist, then the frozen water crystals piling up outside won’t be some sort of plague sent by God to punish the wicked. So I will need everyone to remain calm and cool. It’s not the end of the world or a new Ice Age bearing down on us. As human beings we’ve managed to survive quite worse with much less.

I know there will be moments when all will seem lost but I hope we all can remember that Spring is nearly around the corner and we won’t have to end up eating each other like the Donner party.  Just be prepared and all will be right. I don’t want this whole weather phenomenon to be a surprise to anyone. Like, “Oh man it totally snowed a ton last night, crap. I should have closed my car windows”.

By July we’ll all have forgotten about the, “Blizzard of 2011”, and we’ll be too mad that the Cubs suck so badly to care.  

Speaking of other things to keep calm about, take it easy Egypt. I saw a scroll along the bottom of CNN yesterday where vandals in the Egyptian National Museum tore the heads off two ancient mummies. All I could think of was, “Jackasses”. Talk about misunderstanding a cause. Also the Egyptian military took a few pot shots at around 2,000 to 3,000 people gathered in Alexandria (named by Alexander the Great of course). This is just intimidation apparently. I worry about the logic of that. “Hey, calm these protesters down. Let’s take a couple of shots at them”. Brilliant.

I really applaud the people's attempts to restructure their government and that for the most part it is has been a peaceful demonstration. I’ve always said that real regime change must come from within the populace and no forces can create it externally.   I just hope everybody remains calm, or at least, as calm as possible. I’d hate for a panic to break out and a bloody coup spill into the surrounding Middle East. Or to relate it to this piece, that there isn’t a blizzard of violence that sweeps across the area and brings about the prophesized Apocalypse as predicted by Nostradamus. But if it does, please let me be the first to say, “I called it”.   

You know, perhaps I should be happy about the Snowmageddon approaching.  Doesn’t seem that bad after all; perhaps I’ll build some snowtesters (Protesters made from snow) and crowd them up in front of my building. Maybe I’ll make little signs for them that say things like, “Sun unfair to Snow people”, or, “Equal rights for refrigeration”. Yeah, that’d be pretty hilarious I think.

A short Friday Story

Friday chewed the jelly doughnut and mulled over the paperwork in front of him. The only thing that could possibly make this morning better would be a working coffee maker. Friday’s coffee maker decided to malfunction and start squirting out a black, mud-like substance. Being bold, of course, he did try to drink some of it but after a few wretched sips thought it would probably give him cancer if he continued. So Friday moved the sticky jelly doughnut around his mouth and washed it down with a glass of tap water.  Friday thought he should probably start drinking more water as it was.

He looked over the most recent missing persons report on his desk and swallowed. It’d been three weeks since anyone had seen her and all the leads had gone cold. He couldn’t understand how a young woman like Saturday could just vanish from a crowded dance club. She was surrounded by all her friends as she danced and then just vanished.  

Friday looked at her picture. She was beautiful. In fact, Friday wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a woman so lovely. There was something about her light blue eyes that made you fall madly in love with her. Her photo showed a woman simply possessed by youth. She wasn’t just young, but was youth itself. Friday felt himself wanting to know her, intimately.

He put the photo back in the manila folder and cleared his throat. He had to get down to business and not drift off in flights of fancy, but it was hard to resist thinking about Saturday’s arms hung over his shoulder and neck, her lips gently pressed up against his, the heat from her body…. Friday shook his head again. He chuckled to himself at how really easy it was to really lose yourself in Saturday.

Friday’s phone rang and he answered on the third ring. Another wrong number; there’s too many wrong numbers is this dirty city. Friday leaned back in his squeaky chair and looked out the window. It was deceiving outside. The sun was shining bright but there was a thick snow on the ground. The snow wasn’t that luxurious white any more. The dirt from the cars and street had given the snow a dingy gray color and it made Friday really miss summer.

He leaned back over his desk and looked at Saturday’s picture again. Where was she? Where is she?

Passions or something like it

I’ve heard a lot of talk about it lately, be it in business or in one’s personal life. Passion is the thing that drives us to try to be better than the sum of our parts.  I’ve been on a long quest to figure out my passions and I’ve yet to clearly determine what really moves me to excel. I know there are a lot of other folks out there that have the same trouble.  I sometimes wonder if we’re more passionate about the search than its actual discovery.

I wonder if we actually found our passion we’d know what to do with it, or would we squander it at the craps table like so many before us. I know what I like to do but I don’t know if that’s what they call “passion”. Is that all it is? I always thought of it as something far more grandiose than just liking something enough to do it over and over and over without going insane.

I know there are areas in my life where passion is certainly lacking. I miss feeling passionate about someone too. I mean, I feel a lot of things for my friends and such, but I don’t remember the last time I was really passionate about someone and filled with a willingness to swim the deepest ocean or climb the highest mountain. (Both of which would result in my death for sure)

There are degrees of passion for all of us for certain and it’s quite a journey to discover what those passions are. I know I enjoy writing these blogs but I’m more passionate about people reading them. I’m imbued with a desire to entertain and I only hope that the readers of this daily (usually daily) blog are pleased. If not, then I’m a failure and ripe for scorn and mistrust, maybe public beatings wouldn’t be out of line.

“Write better, jerk”, slap, slap, punch.

But for the most part I think my writing has sustained all of us somewhat and has kept me relatively injury free.  Thank you kind readers.

I digress; I think I know only two or three people that followed their passions to some amount of fulfillment. I'm quite proud of them and their goal acheiving ways but most are still on the quest to find our passions. I know I am. I hope to find it soon. Although most of the time I think I’m very passionate about retirement, but that seems quite a long ways off sadly. I'm not even sure I'll be able to retire quite frankly.

Old

I had just arrived home from the bar, thinking of one of my very good friends and I thought, "I can't imagine her old". Old in the sense of a withered crone, sitting in a chair, looking for her grandchildren to fetch her another highball. I just didn't see it across her face. As if, she'd never make it to old age; and that had me worried.

My poor friend. My beautiful friend, so battered by the life she's led. If only she knew how much we cared and how much we want her life to be better than it is.

I see the resilience in her, the desire to stay young; but I just didn't see her rocking in a rocking chair. That made me sad. Angry too, at life's little and constant injustices. No matter how you play your cards, sometimes the dealer always takes your money.

I see a lot of my friends as old. I imagine us together, thinking about the old days, sharing a pint of nostalgia. I see us trying to put together our past, our collective past, into a neat package to hand down to those less experienced. But some friends, I see no old age at all.

I worry that they won't make it and miss out on the blessings of hindsight. I fear for them and the lives they lead and wish for them a better chance. That the dealer will finally give them a winning hand and they can leave life's casino better than they entered.

I know too many people that love too much and get so little in return. It's hard to watch their unrequited love and pretend it isn't happening. I'm ashamed I let myself do that. But I have no control over the whims of their hearts and can only comment briefly on the sidelines.

I only hope their hearts lead them to better pastures and easier times. I only hope, ultimately, that they have the opportunity to get old and we dodder and wither together.

No Friday Blog?

No Friday Blog. Unfortunately it's just too busy of a day and I haven't had time to finely craft the words you're looking for. I'll get back to it as time allows, but for today, there's nothing. Have a good Friday everybody!