It’s pretty weird out there

I wonder if there really is a thing as Spring Madness. I know there’s March Madness as it applies to college basketball, but there does seem to be some real insanity going on with people lately. I mean people have just been irrationally crazy. Maybe as people crawl out of their winter hibernation the madness is starting to ooze out with them.

Some of the phone calls I’ve received recently at work have been of the completely insane variety. A literal absence of reality in certain people’s thinking and reasoning. Some of these people have made obnoxious demands and requests that simply cannot be completed or found in this universe. I’m starting to wonder how much brain damage people really do have. Did TV really rot their brains as so often predicted? Were people always this dumb and greedy? I don’t think so. If they were then society probably would have crumbled with the Etruscans. (No Dennis Miller jokes okay)

It’s not just the calls I’ve been getting today, but some of the so-called, “regular people”, have been acting quite out of their gourds. The weather’s up and down behavior might be driving people insane. Of course who am I to judge another person’s sanity? Oh wait, I am perfectly qualified because I’m not a crazy person. I’m filled with delicious rational thought and sweet ass logical action.  

I wonder if madness can spread like a disease, transmitting from one person to another. I know actual brain disorders are most often not viral in nature, but what if there’s something new, causing even the most rational of individuals to start seeing bridge trolls riding giant spiders across Michigan Avenue.

I’ve seen panic spread through a crowd like a wave and I wonder if insanity can do the same. I mean angry mobs often fall into a collective consciousness and act as one, even if the goal is crazy, like flipping a car through a perfectly good window of a business that has nothing do to with the mob’s ultimate goal. The action of the individual is lost in the sea of society. So I wonder if, as the madness spreads, if more people will act as part of the collective and less as an individual.

I bet it really does have something to do with all that Super Moon stuff and the tides and the lunar cycle. I bet the Earth passed through some cosmic patch of crazy radiation, or Crazdiation, as I will now call it.

I certainly hope it starts to calm down. It’s getting exhausting being a rational man in an irrational world. Let’s keep it calm everybody, keep calm and carry on as they say. Plus I don’t want you people spooking my giant spider.