Howard rode the
train this morning blankly staring out the window, not even watching the world
flash by. He was an empty vessel. He was a shell of a man. You could have
probably cracked his husk with a stick and he’d shatter into hundreds of amber
shards. He just wasn’t home. Things had been getting strange.
It wasn’t an out of
body experience, as he was still aware of being in his body. He was just in his mind. He was in there, opening old doors and drawers, blowing dust off
the great tomes that contain the details of his life. He was perhaps, in a
great retrospective warehouse, very similar to the one in Indiana Jones. He
felt like he had to be there at that moment, like something was going to happen
and he needed to be in the bunker of his mind. He just needed to make sure the things that made him his were still there.
He remembered
seeing the people and things around him but felt somehow abstract from them.
That he wasn’t really part of the world they all were participating. He didn’t
hate them, or love them, or feel anything for them really. But he was aware
they were there. His eyes were dry as he sat unblinking. He felt as if he was
seeing through the curtain or backstage at the show that is life. The people
who were so real a moment ago now seemed to fade away; or at least their bodies
did. All that was left were hovering red glowing souls.
There was a purple
hued pulse of electricity swirling and sparking through the air. It reminded
Howard of plasma, or maybe the lightening that shot from The Emperor’s
fingertips in Star Wars. There was a heartbeat somewhere. The walls of the
train were neon green and the floor was like water flickering in the sunlight. Fantastic explosions of light burst in the windows and the train, or what used to be the train, seemed to be moving at an incredible speed.
Howard wanted to
move but couldn’t seem to find the will to stop this transcendent experience of
riding the train. Maybe the rhythmic beat of the steel train wheels over the tracks
had somehow hypnotized him and he was now trapped in his mind or maybe
transported him to a new dimension. He started to feel afraid. He felt the eyes,
or rather the eyeless holes, of the other commuters on him. He could feel their
stares. He just wanted to move. He wanted to move out of his mind and get back
to the real world.
The train came to a
hard sudden high speed stop and the doors opened. A new commuter boarded the
train wearing headphone, that weren’t actually doing much to deaden the music
coming from them. Howard was snapped back into the real world, he felt his body
relax as the music blared in the head of the guy now sitting next to him.
Howard was able to turn his head and look at the young man, this human stereo.
Howard felt himself breathing again and could hear the coughing, sniffling,
breathing crowds around him. The glowing was gone. The people were people, the
train was the train.
Howard blinked to
moisten his eyes, moved his arms and readjusted his legs. Two more stops to go
and he could get off the train, maybe never ride it again.
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