“It’s peculiar how a very simple
act by a woman can get absorbed into the fabric of a person’s whole day. The
act, which then becomes thought, bangs around in the brain and the imagination
makes you re-live the moment over and over again. Each time you cringe a little
more and blush a little harder”, said Joey.
Ryan looked up from his newspaper.
“What the hell are you babbling
about”, asked Ryan.
“I’m just saying the things I've done, maybe, the things I’m ashamed of seem to linger in my brain and I can’t
seem to get past them”, said Joey.
Ryan nodded and folded his paper and
tossed it onto the dashboard of the municipal works van.
“You’re going to make me talk
about this hm? You can’t just let me sit here and read my paper”, asked Ryan.
Joey nodded slowly and took a
quick sip from his coffee cup. Ryan sat back and squinted at Joey.
“Okay, here’s what it is. You’re a
human being and like all human beings you have an imagination. Now mind you,
some people are more imaginative than others but you have it all the same. But
what you’re referring to, with this constant thoughts dwelling on your past,
maybe re-imagining your life, is nothing more than a human condition. We call
it regret and you’re not the first person to feel bad about things in your
life. Life in general is hard. If life were easy, everybody would be doing it.
Sure, everybody’s alive but few are really living. Regret, embarrassing
memories, that’s just what life is all about. Makes us who we are”, said Ryan.
Joey looked out the window and
sighed.
“So it’s all about a girl isn’t it”,
asked Ryan.
“Of course it’s about a girl”,
said Joey.
Ryan sighed as well and looked out
the window.
“Do you love her”, asked Ryan.
“I think so. But, she’s… out there”,
said Joey.
“She makes you feel differently
about the things you were pretty certain on before”, asked Ryan.
“Yeah, I get so embarrassed about
my past, my thoughts, my imagination around her”, said Joey.
“She’s different than your usual
type of gal”, asked Ryan.
“She’s… adventurous. I’m not even
sure she likes me. She’s hot, she’s cold. I can’t figure it all out. She makes
me mad.”, shrugged Joey.
“I see”, said Ryan, “So you’re
replaying all the moments from your past, looking for where you screwed it all
up. Why it makes you so mad”, asked Ryan.
“I suppose”, said Joey, “She
really rattles my cage, you know”.
A car outside screeched to a stop
at a red light and a horn blared.
“Let’s get to work”, said Ryan.
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