There are mornings in this life that can leave one baffled
about the peculiar nature of the universe and why it’s constantly trying to
destroy us. I had a rough night, tossing and turning in my bed. I was
frustrated with thoughts of my future and embarrassed by things in my past and
it prevented me from getting any decent sleep. Plus, the unregulated radiators
in my apartment seem to feel that Sahara hot
is the appropriate setting for the evenings. I’ve got my pan of water on one radiator
to try and cut some of the dryness but frankly that looks so prehistoric. I may
have to invest in a humidifier.
But back to the universe trying to destroy us; it seems that
in physics, positive and negative forces are constantly smashing into each
other essentially creating the fabric of time as it is destroyed and re-made
every single nanosecond. Among this beyond microscopic universe is how we
perceive time and reality, and it just tries to screw us.
I woke up a little late this morning, which as my loyal
readers know, is a terrible curse for me. I sleep like the dead wish they could
sleep. I hear nothing, two alarm clocks and nothing. I live just off a very
busy street with trucks and fire engines constantly rattling and wailing by,
and I don’t hear a thing. The universe thinks it’s hilarious to speed time up
in the mornings so when I do finally wake up I have precious little time to get
myself together and get out the door so I can make it to my train on time. I
often think I can hear the universe laughing at me.
As I rush through my “S’s” (shit, shave, shower) I make
bumbling mistakes that the universe thinks is mildly amusing. I somehow turn
into Jerry Lewis and I fumble with the water temperature in the shower, my
towel, and then my shoes won’t cooperate while getting dressed, then I have to
hunt for my keys, or change for the bus, or forget that I wanted to charge my
phone. Perhaps the universe is French.
This morning I rushed through my progressions still
wondering why it takes three whole minutes to put my shoes on. I mean, three
minutes, why does it take three minutes? From putting socks on till tying up
the laces takes three minutes? Why does the universe think that’s funny? I
suppose if I were watching from the comfort of the vastness of space, I might
think it was funny too. I’m sure I make some incredibly funny faces.
In my haste however, it seems I forgot my work key card
somewhere on my dining room table. This is quite rare for me because I don’t
lose things like that. I never lose lighters or pens. I still have an expired
gift card in my wallet for some reason. When I got to work and went to slide my
card through the little card reader, my card was not to be found. This sent me
into a panic because, as I said, I don’t lose these types of things. I could
have sworn I heard childlike chuckling from somewhere as I searched through my
wallet. The universe had managed to find a new way to screw me over and it was
having a great time with it.
So as I finally sit in my cubicle, still steaming about my
missing key card, I wonder about the unreality of reality. Nothing I write
seems all that far fetched in comparison to the crazy things that can happen to
the average person on any given average day. In the individual scheme of things,
the minor transgressions and practical jokes of the universe seem monumental,
but when compared to the mass of humanity, it’s very petty and small.
Still, I’m pretty annoyed at the universe right now.
Although the universe keeps reminding me, much like Family Circus the universe is always “Not Me”, and I can’t blame
the universe for not sleeping well, waking up late, forgetting my key card and
keeping me perpetually single. Which I find evermore annoying.
The universe has seemed very unreal to me lately. As I ride
the train and the bus or in this cubicle; I feel so disconnected to the people
around me. I sit in my apartment at night and the loneliness of the universe
seems to sneak in through the nooks and crannies of my drafty windows. I’m
distracted by reality and its gravity but detached from it, as if it wasn't really there at all. It's like when you look into the eyes of a cat. You're not sure if the cat is actually looking back at you or just through you and thinking about ways to make you misplace things.
Good one, for several reasons.
ReplyDeleteMy ex also slept through alarms. A clock radio blasting at full volume for 60 minutes, and he would still sleep through it. If anyone ever tried to wake him with a gentle push, he would lunge at that person in full-attack mode before he realized what he was doing. So I learned to let the radio play, let him be late for work, ...
Thank you, Anonymous. I wonder who you are.
Delete