So here it is The Mayan Apocalypse; the horror, the horror
of it all. Dear God there’s just terror and incredible awfulness everywhere.
Some woman on the train today actually moved her bag so I could sit down. It
was crazy town for certain. I’m sure she was simply filled with such abject
fear that it seemed the only rational thing to do. I can’t believe that she did
it out of her own good will or some sort of desire for peace on Earth.
Those crafty Mayans sure were right. This end of the world
with a whimper is quite amazing and so incredibly accurate. First we get a big
freeze and the next thing you know there will be snow blanketing the whole
Earth. All we will be able to do is string lights together on the front of our
homes in order to guide us through the blinding snow that will eventually come.
It will get so bad that some people will resort to roasting
chestnuts over an open fire and the children will hear stories of the
villainous Jack Frost who will nip at their noses in the dark cold night.
People will be dressed up like Eskimos and we will need sleigh bells, for our
one horse open sleighs.
Snow will be glistening, bells will be ringing, it will
truly be anarchy. I am just so impressed with those Mayans. They really knew a
thing or two about how it was all going to down. All from just watching the
stars and the planets and discussions with their ruler K'inich Ahkal Mo' Nahb
Claus.
I suppose one good thing about this Apocalypse is how close
we’ll get to our families. We’ll need each other through these dark and
daunting times. We’ll have to share a lot of things but in our recognition of
their support we might be inclined to give them a gift or two. Perhaps an item
we had to fight for with the other clans of families out scavenging for the
scraps of our once great civilization. Maybe an iTunes gift card.
I can’t imagine how those Mayans could have predicted this
winter wonderland of damnation. It’s an amazing compliment to their long
vanished society. So accurate, right down to the spreading of cheer amongst men
and women, you know, to keep their spirits up as we tremble down the path of
inevitable destruction.
It is an organized Apocalypse though. I get to leave work
early so I can tend to the needs of the people and get some last minute
provisions. I certainly hope the throngs of the desperate aren’t too bad over
the next coming days. I’m sure there will be some mild panic as doomsday
settles in, by the fire, and eats cookies.
Those Mayans, making us all look like fools for doubting them.
Merry Christmas!
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