Repeating Myself

            I’m starting to wonder if I’m repeating myself. I was considering yesterday’s story and I realized I wrote something very similar not too long ago, maybe within the last month or so. I hope I haven’t run the well dry. I mean, I haven’t really written any stories about robots yet. I’m tempted to avoid that topic thanks to good old Isaac Asimov. He was pretty much king of the Science Fiction robot stories. So I think I’ll avoid that.

            What about true stories? What about things that have actually happened to me? I’m sure people would find those stories ultimately relatable. Maybe that’s why your readership is so down; people are bored with your lonely heart stories or peculiar judgment tales. (Nah, they’re just busy is all.)

            It’s a good question. My life has been action and adventure packed. What with all the Yeti wrestling and giant squid wrangling. Or was I just drunk and having a nightmare? Either way, there’s just so much deadly action and fervent activity that I’m sure there would be a good true story in there. Even this morning was a non-stop action bonanza of thrilling car chases and light saber battles. Here’s just a little tidbit of my regular day:

            Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Snooze.

            Ka-boom! I’m thrust awake by the thought of being late for work, especially on a day with a very important client meeting. The fate of the whole world might hang in the balance. But first I need to watch a little morning news to check the weather and have a cigarette. What action hero doesn’t start his day with news and a morning cigarette?

            I leapt from my bed and discovered that during the night some evil villain must have activated a weather dominator machine bringing the warm 80 degree day we had yesterday to a freezing 40 degrees. The windows I had left open to cool my steamy apartment were now agents of this terrible cold foe.

            “Curses! It’s cold,” I said masterfully.

            I hurried about the apartment shutting windows with my awesome power of shivering and then hunkered down on my couch. The couch was cold.

            “Bah! Terribly Villainy,” I exclaimed.

            I turned on the TV and hoped there would be word on this weather catastrophe. I lit my cigarette and waited for the horrible news. If finally came and it was worse than I thought.

            “Hm, looks like I put away that spring jacket away a little too soon old chum,” I said to myself.

           

            I smoked my cigarette and then checked the clock. My god! It seems not only was there an evil genius messing with the weather, but some dastardly criminal was also messing with time. I was now focused on defeating those two monsters.

            I jumped up from my couch with all the agility and prowess a gout ridden, broken toed 36 year old man can and hurried to the bathroom to shave, shower, deodorize, after-shave, and stare at my reflection in the mirror and wonder how I got into this mess in the first place. Was it a gypsy curse? No matter, I cleaned up with the speed of The Flash must bathe with when he’s running late for a Justice League meeting. I emerged fresh as a spring daisy and quickly donned my hero attire.

            “Oh, right, client meeting today. Better wear a tie,” I reminded myself.

            A quick check of the clock and I knew I had defeated that mischievous time manipulator. He’s antics amused me.

            “Ha,” I said.

            I gathered my essentials for my utility belt, which are actually pockets in which I jam my phone, bus pass, train pass, eye glasses cloth and oversized action wallet. Then debated on whether I should take my cigarettes.  

            “Nay,” I said, “I’ll buy some later”.

            A quick brushing of the hair and teeth and I was ready to conquer the evil that reared its head into the light of another Thursday.

            “Huzzah,” I exclaimed as I rushed out my front door and deftly maneuvered down my three flights of stairs.

--- I guess my life is exciting. I think I’ll write about it more often. As long as you stay interested dear reader.