Backwards

I did it backwards,
I fell for her before
she knew it.

Now that she

knows, but knew
it all along.
What now?

I’ll make it up,

I’ll live a life
imagined, that
never

happened.

I’ll work it all

out, every moment,
every kiss, every hug,

Every kid, every spelling bee,

dentists and college,
I’ll imagine it all.

Yet, she’ll never,

know, cause, it’s
not the same.

She’ll never see

my fingers fly over
these keys.

She’ll never hear

everything I have to say,
over and over again, and over.

I’m a passing fancy that met a

passing fancy, whose fancy wasn’t
all that fancy.

But I wish I was old,

and she was old with me,
and we could look back
on the day.

The day,

the past,
that moment,

the light,

the sound,
the wind,
the cold,
 

The heat.

Before I knew,

before what's known.