The Strange Ballad of Gary Lemonade

Gary Lemonade doesn’t

care about your party.

Gary Lemonade doesn’t

care about your dress.

Gary Lemonade doesn’t

like that look on your face.

Gary Lemonade doesn’t

want a quiet night in.

Gary Lemonade does

want to dance.

Gary Lemonade does

want to touch your lips.

Gary Lemonade does

like your legs.

Gary Lemonade does

need a drink.

Gary Lemonade wears

a leather jacket with spikes.

Gary Lemonade wears

steel toe boots to weddings.

Gary Lemonade wears

boxers instead of briefs.

Gary Lemonade wears

neck ties with tee-shirts.

Gary Lemonade wants

a date with you.

Gary Lemonade wants

to sleep with you.

Gary Lemonade wants

the red Kool-Aid.

Gary Lemonade wants

a houseplant in the car.

Gary Lemonade didn’t

know about it before.

Gary Lemonade didn’t

learn about it then.

Gary Lemonade didn’t

bother to read the book.

Gary Lemonade didn’t

see the film.

Gary Lemonade is

thirsty for trouble.

Gary Lemonade is

hungry for bad.

Gary Lemonade is

practicing with a knife.

Gary Lemonade is

stealing hearts.

Gary Lemonade feels

his age.

Gary Lemonade feels

the Earth spinning.

Gary Lemonade feels

mortal.

Gary Lemonade feels

too cool for Friday night.