Thursday, October 4, 2018

Checkout Line



                The checkout line at the supermarket seemed to stretch for miles. Calvin couldn’t understand why there were fifteen checkout aisles, but only two of them were open. He wondered if high school kids even worked at supermarkets anymore. He remembered when he was a teen it seemed like everyone he knew was a cashier or bagger or a shopping cart jockey. There was always plenty of check-out lines to go through and they were always pretty fast; even in the old days of the price check announcements. It seemed like no one wanted to work at the supermarkets anymore. The current cashier in this impossibly long line looked to be about 87 years old and severely arthritic. The cashier in the second line appeared to be missing a hand. Calvin sighed and looked at the items in his shopping cart.

                Calvin’s shopping cart was filled with frozen dinners, burritos, breakfast sandwiches, pizzas, mini-sliders, all of it microwave-able and extremely unhealthy. It made Calvin feel self-conscious and a little bad about his eating habits. He would cook something good every once in a while, but the mundane day to day living didn’t exactly invite a repast of edible delights. Frozen burritos would have to suffice. It was enough to get him through a little more than a week, although he might eat out once or twice if the desire struck. He looked up from his cart and the line he was in had barely inched forward. It never failed that there was someone way up at the front trying to use an expired coupon or had to ask deeply personal questions of the cashier that required some long explanation. Calvin sighed.

                He looked at the impulse buy magazines shoved in to their holders next to the gum and candy and various spicy beef flavor sticks. There were your typical entertainment rag magazines espousing the latest dirt on the latest hot celebrity. A magazine for the dieters, one for the outdoorsman, one for the overweight, one for the skinny, one for the curious, all jammed into their metal holders. Calvin rapped his fingers on the shopping cart handle as he slowly stepped forward. He saw something flicker along the bottom edge of the magazine rack.  A different magazine caught his eye. There was a shimmer to the cover he hadn’t noticed mixed in with the headlines about losing 110 pounds by eating muffins or how to be better at sex by not having sex. The shimmering seemed out of place.

                The magazine was whispering to Calvin. He could hear it mixed in with the out of patience shoppers around him and the too loud overhead music. It was telling him something but he couldn’t quite make it out. It seemed muffled. Calvin bent down and plucked the shimmering magazine from its holder. It was the only copy of its kind on the rack. Calvin felt a small static shock in his fingers when he touched the cover. He almost dropped the magazine to the ground, like you would if you touched a hot pot off the stove. Yet he held on to the magazine. It was telling him something and an image was starting to form on the shimmering cover. Calvin hadn’t noticed that the cover was blank until now, until an image started to form.

                A title formed along the cover in bold and distinct lettering, lettering that embodied charisma, charm and sophistication. The title came into view, Person of the Year: Calvin Vargas, read the title. Below the title a portrait emerged from softening shimmer, a portrait of Calvin in a lush red smoking jacket, he was sitting in a high-backed brown leather chair in some well-appointed study with a roaring fireplace behind him. He had a snifter of brandy in one hand and a large cigar in the other. He looked thinner, healthy and even muscular. His black hair was carefully slicked back into a tasteful wave and his eyes looked serious yet mirthful.

                Calvin looked up from the magazine and saw the checkout line had moved a bit in front of him. He could hear the out of patience “tsk-tsk” of the other customers behind him as they seemed not to have noticed the magical magazine. Calvin stepped forward in the long line and again focused on the magazine cover. More words started to form just above his portrait, over his tastefully crossed left knee, and Calvin squinted as the words came into view.  Kill Them. Kill Them All, page 25.

                The portrait of Calvin on the cover seemed to start grinning, almost nodding as the words, Kill Them. Kill Them All, page 25, appeared across the bottom edge of the mildly shimmering page. The portrait Calvin seemed to raise his snifter and toast the Calvin waiting in the endless checkout line. Calvin found himself sort of nodding back to this cover image of himself.  

                “Can you move it up please,” said an irritated voice from behind Calvin. Calvin looked up and saw that he had again let too much space emerge between himself and the person in front of him. He quickly stepped forward with his cart. He was now the third person in line.  He heard something else in his mind, something coming from the shimmering magazine in his hand, that low whisper he’d heard before he picked the magazine up. It was repeating something. Calvin held the magazine up closer to his ear. “Kill Them. Kill Them All. Page Twenty-Five, leave none Alive,” said the whisper in a tempting female rasp.

                Calvin shuddered and snapped the magazine down away from his ear. He looked around at the other customers, they seemed blurry and out of focus. Calvin felt sweaty and hot. He felt the supermarket’s fluorescent lights flickering and bludgeoning him. He rubbed his face and eyes.  He looked back down at the magazine, shimmering ever more brightly. He had to look at page twenty-five. He had to see what was on page twenty-five. Calvin on the cover smiled as Calvin in the checkout line feverously flipped the hot magazine open; to page twenty-five.

                Bold letters, bloody across the pages, “Kill Them. Kill Them All”, were splattered across pages twenty-five and twenty-six. Calvin reached with his fingertips and felt the words were slippery and slick, as if written in blood. He could smell the coppery, metallic scent of blood in the air, he could taste the sweat of his upper lip. He wanted to reach into the magazine’s pages and pull out the giant meat cleaver it was showing him and start hacking and slicing at the people around him. It seemed right. It seemed like if he did that then all the success he dreamed off would be his. The world would be his to conquer and all his desires would come true. He only had to reach into the shimmering magazine and start.

                “C’mon man, move up,” said an impatient voice from behind Calvin. Calvin looked up and he was now the next person in line. He shook his head and stepped forward. He held the magazine in his left hand as he started reaching down into his shopping cart to start placing items on the conveyor belt. Images of hacked up body parts slowly gliding along that same conveyor belt flooded his mind. Calvin looked at the magazine in his left hand, he looked at the back cover.

                “Forty Dollars? For a magazine? No thanks,” said Calvin. He leaned back and shoved the shimmering magazine back into the metal magazine holder. The elderly cashier looked up at him and smiled. Calvin smiled back.

Friday, September 28, 2018

Vigilance is an Honor



                “The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.” This quote, often contentiously attributed to Thomas Jefferson (who may have not said it at all and really may have been said by American Abolitionist and liberal activist Wendell Phillips on January 28, 1852, who may have cribbed it from other prior sources[1]) is still the truest statement regarding the nature of our Republic and our impression of Democracy.

                It has always been our duty as citizens to question the intentions and desires of our electorate in order to preserve the freedoms our forebearers fought for. It is an absolute in our Republic that anyone in a position of power should be questioned about their character, morality and judgment. It is in the better interest of our free society to drill into the marrow of a person poised for power. It is our duty to delve into their hearts, their minds and if possible, their souls to verify they are the type of person that best reflects the character of our Country.

                We must always be vigilant against the tides of despotism, of an unbalanced government, of rampant corruption and electoral apathy. We are historically bound to make this country, for all it’s faults, a better place to live. Not just for ourselves but to future generations that will call this country their home. We have a duty to make sure future Americans will feel pride when they think about the efforts their ancestors made in creating a place where their personal liberties are not infringed upon by an out of control government.

                We must question the nature of intention when any individual decides they want to be a part of a self-run system of government. A government of the people, by the people and for the people. It is imperative we shake the trees of a person’s history, their thought processes, their desire and capability in order to provide equal representation under the law. We must always ask, and ask again if the answer is not satisfactory. We should ask again when that answer is still not satisfactory.

                It is a burden we as citizens must bear as well as the burden of any elected official to answer. It is not easy to be vigilant. It is difficult to maintain a watchful eye on the complexities of politics. The political tensions and tribalism regarding any particular ideal or person can be extremely daunting. Yet, we still must question it. We are honor bound by the sacrifices of so many to ask whether this idea or this person is right and good for all the people. It is correct to question the nature of what is good and right. It is incredibly challenging to break through the clutter, shadows and double-talk our political system seems to overflow with. Yet we must.

                We must take what we learn about any idea or person and weigh it against our interior morality. We must turn the idea or personality in odd ways, see it from every angle if we can and confirm whether it is indeed something decent and beneficial for progress. Progress toward a free and equal society benefiting and reflecting the morality of the present and forward thinking enough to benefit the future.

                Liberty is rare in society; to be able to think and believe and do whatever it is I think is best without a jack-booted thug kicking in my door and threatening me to follow or die is a precious right. We as Americans are imbued with a desire to be free, to not be trod upon, by any dictator, king or despot. It is our liberty, this rare gift of an Age of Enlightenment, that we must protect.

                That precious Liberty we hold so dear is incumbent upon us and those we elect to represent us to ask questions, to ponder the ramifications of any act, plan or political machinations. It is in the asking that the truest form of liberty can shine through. It is in the vigilant questioning we preserve liberty, justice, and equality. We are the makers of our own liberties. We are the shoulders that bare the weight of liberty. We cannot shrug this duty off onto others or pretend through inaction it will somehow take care of itself. We must always be the beacon of liberty to the underrepresented, the downtrodden and the forgotten.
               
                Liberty is not a function of the government, it is a function of We the People attempting to form a more perfect Union. In that forming of liberty and freedom we are saddled with incredible responsibilities. Responsibilities that should never be tossed aside, dismissed or thought to be unpopular. We must vigilantly and vigorously question those in power, power we gave them, to insure our liberties are being protected. It is eternal.


[1] http://www.thisdayinquotes.com/2011/01/eternal-vigilance-is-price-of-liberty.html

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Wonderstanding



The more I understand,
the more it makes me
wonderstand.

Wonderstanding is
when you get it,
you know all about it,
but can’t stop thinking
about it.

I wonderstand about
my place, my purpose,
my wants, desires, and
how to be someone worthy
of another’s wonderstanding.

I know who I am,
but I don’t exactly
wonderstand why it is
I am who I am and why I
persist.

It would be wonderful,
not to be cursed with this
abundance of wonderstanding,
but I do understand.

I wonderstand about where
she is, what she is doing, how I can
be a part of her life and she a part of
mine. I understand that I just haven’t
met her yet. Or maybe, she hasn’t met me.

Wonderstanding keeps you up
at night, in bed, tossing and turning
with replays of embarrassments and
second guesses.

I can’t stop my wonderstanding,
I’m not sure if I want to. I understand
it can be trepidatious, but I still
yearn for a deeper wonderstanding.  



 - P.S. Don't forget to check out my second volume of poetry for sale at:  https://www.amazon.com/Saying-Too-Much-Second-Poetry/dp/1727135490/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1536762783&sr=1-1&keywords=saying+too+much

Friday, September 21, 2018

Saying Too Much - Get yours soon!



I thought it would be fun to show my wee family memebers engaged with my first book, Never Said Enough, https://www.amazon.com/Never-Said-Enough-Poetry-Collection/dp/149970450X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1537540849&sr=1-1&keywords=Never+Said+Enough

And my new book, Saying Too Much - https://www.amazon.com/Saying-Too-Much-Second-Poetry/dp/1727135490/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1536762783&sr=1-1&keywords=saying+too+much

They all grow so fast! Thanks for your continued support and try not to get diabetes from all this baby sweetness!

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Special Announcement!!!!







Dear Loyal readers,

My Second Book of poetry is now available for purchase. Please see the link below.

Thank you all for your continued support!

https://www.amazon.com/Saying-Too-Much-Second-Poetry/dp/1727135490/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1536762783&sr=1-1&keywords=saying+too+much


Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Scar Stories and Remembering



Today we remember the lives lost
seventeen years ago.
We remember the lives that were
irrevocably changed. We remember them
and do our best to show that life does go on.

Uncle Sam absently rubs the scar
where we were hurt, lost in thought,
thinking about that day when
for many of us the world would never
be the same place as it was September 10, 2001.

It’s another scar, marring such a youthful
body, so many scars to cover, to mourn,
to rub fingers over and wince at the causes
of the original injury. So many memorials,
so many battlefields, cemeteries and monuments.

Yet, we’re talented at looking past the scars,
past the deep wounds of our journey as we stare into
our own reflection in the mirror of history. We still
look good. We’re still strong. We’re still here.
We are resilient and good at moving on.

The wounds, the scars, become trophies over time,
badges of honor advertising the crucibles we’ve
endured, the Quint and Hooper of history,
trading scar stories on the Orca as a giant shark
is chasing them down.

We’re not afraid of history. But we should be
wary of its reach. We should keep an eye on
history, vigilant against those that would twist
the narrative to serve their own selfish desires, wants
or seek to devour us in fear.

It is our duty, as those that do go on, to remember.
It is not a passive act to merely note that on this day
lives were forever changed, but to be aware of the ripples
that event caused and to remember the courage of those souls
that went before us and hope, in the same way, we have the same courage.
  

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Prophecy in Her Eyes



I search for prophecy in her eyes,
some truth about us to be revealed,
a signal that this is the one true thing
in the world that matters, yet all I see
is sickness, vapid lunacy and conflict.

Frosty eyes glittering in a snowy morning,
a paled blue, icy and solid, with no
truth to share other than how wrong I
was to put such optimistic faith in such
unrequited scripture.

I search for prophecy in her eyes, I want
her truth, her loving, her incorruptible passion
laid out open for me to clearly see, those
eyes, watery with longing for the same truth
that I seek.

Prophetic eyes telling me the story of
our loving life, safe in each other’s belief
of each other, trusting, sharing, growing,
into magnificence, without malice or
mistrust.

It’s nightmares I see, prophecies of doom,
shattered hearts and broken dreams, leaving
both in tatters, like storm swept sails on a
ghost ship careening through tormented seas
headed for the rocky shore consigned to the deep.

The prophecy, still unfulfilled, I sit each night,
contemplating the strange disparities between
myself and the loves lost, smothered or vanished,
misspent or otherwise squandered in this constant
and baffling search for the truth in her. Of Her.

Is there any prophecy at all I wonder? Is there any
truth to be had? Is there any destiny visible in the eyes
of a lover, a shared heart, or is it all romanticized nonsense
due to an overactive imagination and Hollywood brainwashing?
Is there a chance that all my beliefs are merely childish fascinations?

Yet I still hope for her eyes, staring into mine,
contemplating the contentment of a mutually shared truth,
and the completion of the ancient rites
of prophecy.  Requited and whole,
reflected in each other’s hopeful souls.