Sally looked over the edge of
the ravine and took a deep breath. The rest of the hiking club had already
descended leaving Sally alone at the edge.
“I’m really not sure about this,”
said Sally.
The Hiking Club guide, Seth,
shouted up to Sally some garbled words of encouragement. She could not make
them out though. She looked down at his tan muscled body. He flashed a “thumbs
up” and she wished she hadn’t had such dirty thoughts about him on the bus ride
from the city. He was so hot and active, but he was such a bro. He was a backwards baseball cap wearing,
sleeveless tee-shirt sporting, tribal tattoo, douche. But he was hot.
“I’m really not sure about this,”
shouted Sally.
Seth nodded and gave her another
“thumbs up”. The five others in the group were all high-fiving each other for
their accomplishment. Sally hated them. They were all super fit, yoga pants
wearing idiots. Sally was mad at herself for deciding she needed to get out
more. She hated all those internet memes that encouraged her to grab life by
the horns and to Just Do It. She hated
the outdoors. She hated super fit types. She hated climbing things.
“Yeah, I don’t think I want to
do this. I think I’m going to go back to the bus,” yelled Sally.
The group now all shouted words
of encouragement to her. They were cheering her on and yelling positive
motivational phrases. She could hear that very clearly from her high vantage
point. It made her want to scream. Seth was waving his arm in a “come on down”
motion and giving her the “Okay” symbol. Sally took a deep breath and adjusted
the climbing harness that was digging into her crotch.
Sally looped the climbing rope
around her body like Sexy Seth had instructed and she took another look over
the edge of the ravine. The other hikers were still pumped up and cheering her
on. Sally secretly hoped she would fall and crush one of them. She imagined
herself falling towards the bottom of the ravine, her whole life flashing
before her eyes. The time she gave Mr. Rolo that awkward hand job at the Christmas
party, or the time everyone laughed at her when she wore a sweater that was
just a bit too tight, the time she had chocolate smeared on the side of her
favorite jeans by that idiot Ronny Edgars. The time they called her Short-cake
Sally. As she imagined her arms flailing at her sides as her body plummeted she
started to wish she would really fall. She was flush from the numerous and
on-going embarrassments in her life.
Now she was on the edge of a
giant ravine in the middle of the wilderness trying to impress a douche bag
tour-guide. She felt sick in her heart. She hadn’t always been so afraid of the
world. When she was younger she would do just about anything. She had no fear
in her early 20’s. She could really do anything. Then her Dad died and her
mother followed soon after. Then she had a career change. Then she had a crappy
boyfriend. Then she started eating too much. Then she got worried about dying
too young like her parents. Then she got too scared to do anything.
The cheering had subsided from
below as Katie, the high end stripper hot adventuress, in her sports bra,
hoodie and see through yoga pants flirted with Seth. The group had sort of
stopped watching to see if Sally would make it down and were instead watching
Katie use Seth as a stretching post. If Sally was going to fall on anyone it
was Katie. She’d aim for her if she could.
“Okay. Here I go,” yelled Sally.
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