Coffee Slobs

I can’t understand the coffee slobs. I’m sure you’re familiar with them, or if you aren’t, then you are one and you should stop reading now because this will offend you.

Clean up you own mess. Every morning in the office I work I head to our little break room to fetch a nice free cup of Joe. It’s not a fancy coffee or anything, but it does the job it’s supposed to do. And every day there is a mountain of crap on the coffee counter, spilled sugar or powdered creamer or puddles of liquid creamer, sugar packets, water marks and even spilled coffee that no one seems to feel is important enough to clean up.

I shudder to think what the kitchen counter tops of these people’s homes look like. It’s just downright dirty and careless. How did we come so far in this human society to end up with so many coffee slobs? We put a man on the moon for crying out loud yet Sally Sunshine can’t pour a little sugar in her coffee without spilling it all over the damn place.

I can understand a little accidental spill that you weren’t aware of. Accidents do happen and things can go unseen, I can forgive that. But outright sloppiness and carelessness is just intolerable.  Does it cross the coffee slobs mind, “Whoops, just dumped a quart of powdered sugar all over the counter and floor. Oh well, someone will get it I’m sure. Heck, it’s not my job. Oh look, a puppy”?

It makes me crazy to have to clean the counter every morning. And I’m not talking about just brushing it off onto the floor with my hand. I mean I have to get a paper towel, wet it, and wipe the whole counter off and dispose of it properly. Yes, I am that guy and I’m right to judge you. I follow the rules society established regarding communal coffee stations and I can criticize anyone who doesn’t. The law is on my side.

In addition to the coffee slobs there are also those who refuse to make a fresh pot of coffee after having the last cup. I know it’s an impossible task to make more coffee and only the greatest of Gods and the richest Kings of Europe know how to do it. But I think maybe, once in a while, they should give it a try.  Who knows? They might learn something about themselves and have a chin held high feeling of pride that goes with a job well done.

Damn, I need a coffee. And Whiskey.