I woke this morning from a very confusing dream. Something tragic had happened on a very large scale somewhere in the city. I’m not sure of the level of catastrophe; dreams are often so vague on the details. But the scale of destruction was massive and there were people running everywhere and debris scattered about. I do think I saw the shattered corpses of Bo and Luke Duke from the Dukes of Hazard as well. I’m not quite sure what they were doing there but apparently there was one muddy embankment they couldn’t get the General Lee over.
Anyway, this massive catastrophe was winding down and it seemed the initial danger stages were over and people were milling about, looking for each other. I found myself standing on the sidewalk in front a large row of lobby windows and doors of a tall office building. Inside the lobby I could make out my mother and sister. There were a lot of people shoving about outside and inside so I stepped to the side to keep my eye on the two of them. I was washed over with relief that I had found them. They hadn’t spotted me yet but they were clearly looking for someone.
I looked at the lobby doors and it didn’t seem like I could get in. There was a skinny old guard standing at the door nearest to me and it didn’t seem like he wanted me to come in. I think I might have been smoking in my dream and since you can’t smoke anywhere inside anymore I thought maybe he was frowning at me for smoking so I had better just stay out here until I was done.
I was able to see my mother and sister still from where I was but then I got the sense that they were waiting for someone, but that someone wasn’t me. They weren’t looking out toward the people on the sidewalk outside the building, but had their eyes on the interior of the building. I started to think that maybe they weren’t looking for me. I stepped a little closer to the glass to get a good view and that’s when I saw my Mother’s Father, my grandfather, approach my mother and sister and give them both a hug. My grandfather has been deceased since the early 1980’s. They all seemed so happy to see each other. I was waiting for them, for my grandfather to see me at the doors and come over and get me too. But I started to get nervous, that they wouldn’t see me and they’d go away, or maybe they wouldn’t let me in the building for some reason….
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…… God damn alarm started blaring in my ear. I slapped the snooze and tried to get back to the dream. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I could and put myself right back in front of that building, but it was too late. The dream had passed. I got up and thought, well, that was sad. I would have liked to see my Grandfather. I tried to get passed it and started to get ready for work and it occurred to me there might be another meaning to the dream.
It seemed that the scale of destruction outside the dream building was pretty massive and it started to make me wonder that maybe I wasn’t able to enter the building because I was still alive and maybe everyone in the building wasn’t. Well, that was just too depressing to think about but I guess I took some comfort in the fact that my grandfather was there to meet my mother and sister. Who apparently, didn’t make it out of the chaos of the event.
So the dream was both terrifying and sad, but then I felt that it might have some hint of hope to it, that in the end, everything is at it should be and we’ll see all those we’ve lost or long for again. No matter what though, I sure do love them.
Or I watched way too much about the afterlife on the History channel this past weekend and it got the old dream box churning.
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