Positive Mental Attitude

I’ve been told that it’s important to have a P.M.A. and that having one will make your job and other stressful life activities much more bearable. Shut up I say. I’m more of a stiff upper lip type anyway. You know, I bottle it all up inside for weeks and weeks and then one day I go on a crabby tear and feel a general malaise toward everything and anything. Like a real middle class American man.

A positive mental attitude was something spoon fed to the worker bees so they wouldn’t get any bright ideas about changing their lives or taking steps to improve the quality of their employment.   It’s a tool of evil corporate stooges to get us lulled into a sense of security and complacency.

“I think this machine is going to tear off my fingers”, said the worker bee.

“Well, look at the bright side, think how much less you’ll have to spend on gloves”, said the corporate stooge.

“At least you have a job, right?” I want to stuff people’s pants full of chicken droppings and make them run a marathon when I hear them say that.  Yes, it’s good to have a job and be a contributing member of society but shut the hell up. Most people I know hate their jobs and no amount of positive thinking will make their jobs any better.

I should step back here however and try to stop being such a complainer. Really, who wants to read about me and my severe blood debt hatred for my job on a constant basis?  That’s just not entertaining at all. I apologize, dear reader.  Monday’s are just so hard to be positive. It’s a long way to five o’clock on Friday and the vastness of the week long desert can be overwhelming. I’m sure your weeklong struggles aren’t any worse or better than mine.  I’m just hoping that lovely woman I met Friday night will call me. (Sigh)

I guess I should try to have a more positive attitude and maybe it’ll corrode my cynicism just enough for me to not feel so lousy and in turn make you feel lousy. It’s tough to do with the mountain of evil (I think it’s called Manure Hill) yet to climb. But if we clap hard enough, maybe Tinkerbelle will come back to life and she’ll sprinkle us with Fairy dust and we can all fly over those mountains and poop on the freshly washed cars of those that held us back.  That’s what fairies do right?