Slow down

As I walked from the train station to work this morning I had kind of a slowdown moment. I didn’t feel my normal urgency to get to the office. I seemed to be strolling. This is very strange behavior for a busy bee downtowner like me. Usually if you don’t keep up with the other bees you’ll get mowed down and ground into pulp. But today, that didn’t seem to happen.

I realized I was strolling at a cross walk. The light turned green and the people around me bolted off the corner like horses out of the gate. I seemed to take a short step after them and wasn’t concerned about staying in front, or in some cases, winning. I used to play that game with other people on the sidewalk. I’d try and see which of us would reach a certain arbitrary point first; maybe who made it to the mailbox or fire hydrant first. The other person, of course, didn’t know they were in a death race with me, but it was enough to keep me moving at a quick step.

Today, I didn’t feel that competitive desire. I didn’t look out over the masses of bees and see them as a group I’d like to race, and beat. I actually felt a kind of sadness at the rush. I saw them all, zooming about, so deeply involved in their own business that I wasn’t sure how many of them actually noticed what a beautiful sunny day it was. I had my hands in my pockets and just seemed to ride the wave of people splashing around me.

I remember thinking to myself, “Thank goodness I’m a writer”, as I watched the people scurry to and fro.  Not that I think I’m better or somehow judging the people, just that I was glad I had the ability to slow it all down and then comment on it later. I sort of chuckled at myself and shook my head, because I’m not really a writer at all. I’m not sure what I do here every day, but at least I’m not rushing.