Rains and pigeon attacks

Friday night was awesome, apart from almost drowning in a shot of Whiskey. Here’s a note for the future, do not inhale Whiskey. Go ahead and drink it like a normal human being, not like me, who tried to inhale it. My drunken life flashed before my eyes and it wasn’t very interesting, apart from a few moments of real happiness. (Wink)

Anyway, a wonderfully cooling rain fell through the early Saturday morning hours and I was one of the lucky few able to traverse the stormy Chicago streets. It was a blessed break from the stifling humidity we’d been experiencing and it felt marvelous. It felt so normal and natural to walk through the heavy drops. It wasn’t one of those rains that you felt that you had to run in. A slow steady pace was all that was needed to walk and get wet. I really enjoyed it. It’s funny how you treasure moments like that after nearly aspirating on a shot of Whiskey.

Plus there was an electrical storm the likes of which I hadn’t been awake for in years. It was a true light show of biblical proportions and I was awed by this planet’s power. No wonder we created so many Gods to explain what was happening up in the sky. That’s some scary stuff going on up there. If we still believed that the lightening was the work of Gods in this modern era would that mean those people that had their power knocked out were sinners and we should have stoned them for bringing such terrible heavenly wrath upon us? At least we would have cast them out, chanting, “Unclean! Unclean!”

Glad we’re not that superstitious anymore. It’d be terrible to live in a world where zealots shout and wail at small groups of people they believe to be unclean, infidels or not part of God’s “plan”. Can you imagine how silly that would be? What a wonderful modern age we live in.

Although we still don’t know what to do about pigeons. This morning as I walked down Wells street I saw two women struggling to walk through a large group of pigeons that had gathered under the “EL” tracks. The pigeons reminded me of a group of toughs from the 1950’s, hassling shop keepers and the regular pedestrian as they were just trying to walk down the street.  These pigeons were flapping and flying all over the place, they might have been 100 of them going all Alfred Hitchcock on those two poor ladies. The women actually covered their heads as they were harassed through the throngs of cooing riff-raff.  It struck me as very curious that the pigeons would choose that particular spot to hang out at. I guess one of them could have been in the Dunkin’ Donuts and was hassling the clerk for some bagel scraps, while the others waited outside to cause trouble.

I swear I saw one of the pigeons smoking. I think he pulled a switchblade too. Another one had a tattoo that read, “Egg”.  I just kept walking. I’m not one to get involved with trouble like that. The ladies did make it through and seemed no worse for the wear. I hope those hooligan pigeons aren’t out there still after work. Maybe it’ll rain and scatter them off.