Cold

"I don't like the cold. I don't like the shivering and the chattering teeth. I can't stand cold legs as I walk. I don't like the freezing wind blowing through my coat. I don't like the nipping at my ears or the ice on my nose. It's cold. I hate the cold", said Jerry.

Carl looked up from his microscope and stared at Jerry.

"Shut up man. You say the same thing every day. It's cold. It's always cold", said Carl.

Jerry looked at the walls of the flimsy shed and wiped the lingering snot from his cold nose.

"I don't want to be an Arctic research scientist anymore", said Jerry.
"Well, too bad. Here we are and you have to deal with it. I'm not Mr. Wizard you know", said Carl.
"I think the toilet froze over again", said Jerry.

Silence settled in between the two men standing over a deep core snow sample. A computer hummed in the corner, a little frost had formed over the edges of the screen.

"It's been two years and we haven't found anything", said Jerry,
"Science takes time", said Carl.
"I think I hate science", said Jerry.

Carl put his head back down and peered into the microscope and he inspected the crystalline structure of the ancient snowflakes that fell to Earth thousands of years prior and felt a sense of awe. He felt invigorated by the complexity of this natural phenomenon and felt that humans were very small. Then Jerry farted.

"Can we stop eating so many beans", asked Jerry.

Carl tried to ignore this flatulent interruption but an odor that reeked of methane wafted toward him.

"Good God, man. I think you definitely should stop eating beans you sicko", said Carl.
"I'm sorry but there isn't anything but beans to eat", said Jerry.

Carl waved his hand in the cold air trying to move the monster that Jerry's digestive tract had created.

"I think that fart had a face", said Jerry.
"You make me sick", said Carl.

Jerry chuckled and farted again. It was at that moment Carl decided that he would kill Jerry and lose his body in the deep arctic snow.