Linus stared out the window of the train.
A light mist had peppered the windows. The world was gray and damp. Linus sighed
and shook his head. He felt the weight of another day slogging it out in the trenches
wash over him. The train came to the next stop and Linus watched a young couple
get on. They were giddy with Wednesday morning downtown excitement.
“Oh my God I can’t wait to get
there,” said the young woman in short shorts and a loose fitting top.
“I know. I’m excited too,” said her
bearded, sunglass wearing beau.
They took the seats next to Linus and
the young woman cuddled up next to her man. Linus immediately felt a searing
hatred for them. He hated their youth. He hated their excitement. He hated
their callow faces. He hoped they had a terrible time downtown. He hoped they
got lost or ran out of money and they would get into an argument about how the boyfriend
is never prepared for anything and the girlfriend was tired of his
irresponsible behavior.
The girl looked around the train and
she caught Linus staring at them. She smiled at Linus as she caught his judging
gaze. Linus fake coughed and pretended like he was looking past her and not
directly at her. He tried to be nonchalant but she knew.
“Hi,” she said to Linus.
“Hello,” grumbled Linus.
“Going to work,” she asked.
“Yeah. The daily grind. What are you
two up to,” asked Linus.
He wasn’t sure why he asked her
that. He didn’t really want to know. He just wanted it to stay quiet on the
train so he could mull his hatred toward work over in his boiling hung over
guts.
“We’re going to the zoo and then the
lake and then whatever else comes our way I guess,” said the girl as she
grabbed her man’s thigh.
“Yeah, it’s going to be a good day.
We’ve been planning it for a while,” said the bearded sunglass wearing beau.
Linus nodded.
“Yeah, that sounds like fun,” said
Linus.
“We just got married on Monday so
this is kind of our mini honeymoon,” said the girl.
She giggled and pulled her man’s arm
closer to her. Linus nodded again. He thought that was probably a mistake. She
couldn’t be more than 23 years old and he looked even younger.
“Wow. Married. That’s great.
Congratulations,” said Linus.
Linus forced a smile. The young
couple kissed each other. Linus looked around at the other riders of the train
and he could feel their mutual hatred for this young couple. Everyone begrudged
them their youthful happiness. Their youthful freedom. He imagined that if the
crowd on the train had their way they’d kick these two people off . Linus
looked back out the wet window and felt bad.
He couldn’t remember when he got so
cold. So cynical. He should be happy for these two people but he just couldn’t
find it in him anymore. The couple’s in your face happiness was just painful to
watch. Linus was jealous.
“We’ve never been downtown,” said
the girl.
“Well, I have. When I was a kid,”
said the guy.
“Right, but that doesn’t count,”
giggled the girl.
Linus nodded again. He’d lived his
whole life in the city. He’d been working downtown for as long as he could
remember. Their naiveté made Linus very uncomfortable. He felt a hot sickness
building up inside his stomach and he wished that these two happy assholes
would just get off the train so he could get back to his uncompromised misery.
The train stopped at next station
and the young couple got up.
“Nice talking to you,” said the
girl.
“Nice talking to you too. Have a fun
day,” said Linus.
The bearded beau nodded at Linus and
the train doors opened and the young couple, hand in hand got off the train.
Linus could feel the relief of the
other passengers as soon as the train started moving again. He looked out
through the window and caught a glimpse of the couple kissing each other and
laughing. Linus hated them. He hated everything. He hated what he’d become. A
cold corpse of a man entombed in a glass case unable to make a real connection
to anything outside.
The rain picked up and pelted the
train window.
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