I Am Kicking It

The metaphor maker has

broken down and the words
I want to use to explain how
I feel are just a jumble
of phrases of incoherent
garbage that are barely sticking to
the page.

I think it needs a new light bulb

to half bake the loose meat metaphors
I keep shoving into it. For instance;
I’m feeling excited about a new job
opportunity. A new, full time, salaried,
insurance providing job. The works.

That’s an exciting thing and yet the

only metaphors coming out of the
machine are all about expecting
the sunrise after a long darkness,
or taking a road trip through the
uncharted depths of the mind.

Dreck.

Pure Drivel.

This metaphor machine is certainly

broken. I mean it uses as much energy
as a Lite-Bright and less computing power
than the Apollo missions, and it’s usually
sufficient. But today it’s not
working right.

It’s like a… baseball player in a slump?

Ugh, that’s terrible.  I think the Idiom
generator is on the fritz too.  Let me check
the simile sensors, no, they aren’t working to
well either, they’re like, not working like a…
a… a…. like a…. thing that doesn’t work.  

So I guess I’ll have to be plain

like an unmolested bagel, terrible,
how about just being straightforward,
like a… pencil. Jesus, that’s just bad.

(Kicks Metaphor Machine)

You rotten piece of literary

junk! You bagel warming,
pencil shaving, baseball playing
shmuck!

Anyway, here’s my poem,
that expresses my excitement
about getting a new job without the
use of the machine:

I

Got
A
New
Job.

Yay!

The End