Pass the Tissues

Every time I blow my nose into

a tissue, I check the tissue for

blood or brains.

 

I know it sounds gross and

icky, but you do gross stuff too,

so don’t judge.

 

I check for blood or brains

out of some irrational fear

that blood or brains WILL be there.

 

I’m not sure what I would do

if there were some brains on

my tissue.

 

Blood is actually sort of

normal and happens from

time to time, as long as it’s just a bit.

 

I mean, if massive amounts of

blood just started leaking from my

nostrils, I’m not sure what I would do.

 

I’d probably stand up and make one of

those, “Ack”, noises and then and

start the bloody nose protocol.

 

But brains, what if I blew my brains

out through my nose, like some

pre- mummification process?

 

Would I be lobotomized and start

drooling on myself? What part of

the brain could I blow out?

 

Would I know if my brains were on

the tissue? Like could I identify a chunk

of my brain?

 

Would we wave to each other?

“See ya,” said brain chunk.

“Bye brain chunk,” I’ll say.

 

Sometimes I’m terrified of

blowing my nose.

 

 

---- This is the 900^th blog posting on A Minute with Michael by the way. Cheers.  ----