The Fate Machine

Put in a quarter,

(it used to be a dime)

and test your skill

at the Fate Machine.

 

It doesn’t take much

talent, just a small fee,

to see which direction

your destiny is headed.

 

Put your feet on the pedals,

grasp the handrails,

put on your goggles and

the tinfoil helmet.

 

The electrodes go in your,

nose, mouth, anus and

urethra (please use the wipes

provided)

 

Just a few volts,

a jolt or two,

that’s only a little blood,

yes, that’s stool.

 

Now hold still,

just wait,

any second now,

your fate is revealed.

 

And here it comes,

your results are printing now,

boy this is exciting,

are you using the wipes?

 

Here it is!

You’re results!

---GULLIBLE---

Oh, that’s… that seems mean…

 

Well, I mean, who would

really believe in a Fate Machine

that only cost

a quarter?

 

(It used to be a Dime)