Unicorn Farts

“Did you see that unicorn?”

“No, I missed it.”

“What?! It was right there, farting

rainbows and crapping candy!”

“No, sorry. Didn’t see it.”

“What about the giant? You saw

the giant right?”

“No, missed that too.”

“He was gigantic, like 30, 40

feet tall! How could you miss that?”

“I just didn’t see him.”

“You saw me chase that Leprechaun

though right?”

“No, must have missed that too.”

“Seriously!? I was running all over the yard

screaming at it, trying to catch it with the

pool skimmer!”

“No. Sorry Again. Didn’t see that.”

“Tell me you saw the Fairy tea party.”

“No, I didn’t, sorry.”

“How could you miss it!? It was epic!”

“Yeah, just didn’t notice I guess.”

“Sheesh, there was house music and

dirty dancing!”

“Nope. Didn’t see a thing.”

“You didn’t see the unicorn, the giant,

the Leprechaun or the fairy party?”

“No. None of those things.”

“Then what the hell were you

 looking at?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“What? I’ve an open mind.

Of course I’d understand.”

“No. I don’t think you would.”

“Just tell me.”
“Fine. I was thinking about stuff that

actually mattered like, war, poverty, murder,

rape, genocide, massacres, intolerance,

hunger and the general state of the real world

and not the imaginary bull crap you obsess over.”

“Ah, right. Yeah, I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, didn’t see that did you?”

“No. I didn’t. But that unicorn man,

I wish you had seen it.”

“Stop talking to me.”