Rapture wha?

Apparently, there is a very big biblical event to occur tomorrow. The religious radio host, Harold Camping, (do you bring s’mores to his house when you visit?) has predicted with as much surety a nut can muster that tomorrow at 6:00 p.m. God will call the faithful bodily up to heaven in preparation for the end of days. That’s right, bodily. You will allegedly be lifted out of your clothes and be taken, naked, up into the clouds to join God’s kingdom.

Mr. Camping did predict this event before, in 1994 he said Judgment Day was upon us, but amazingly, he was incorrect. He wasn’t using the same calculator Jesus used so there were some minor mathematical errors. But this time he’s super-duper sure. Duper.

I am somewhat of a lapsed Catholic but I still consider myself a person of faith. I think it’s perfectly logical and reasonable to question most of the information contained in the bible. After all it’s a book translated from several languages, oral histories and stuff that the authors didn’t actually witness with their own eyes. So there maybe might could be a few errors or omissions. Maybe; if it’s all literal though, we’re toast.

I do find those end of days followers pretty interesting though. They have a deep and serious devotion to their cause and are beyond sure it’s going to happen. I don’t know what it’s like to even be sure of the shoes I’m wearing. Do they look right with these pants? So maybe I do envy their passion a bit. Oh crap! Envy, that’s one of the Seven Deadly sins. I’ll never be raptured now.  Back to hard drugs I guess.

I can’t believe that God, who spent billions of years creating the universe and Earth (4000 years to the literalists) would decide that those he made in his own image are done. Just done.  That we’ve gone as far as we can and are just wicked now and have to be disposed of like so much snotty Kleenex. Put the fork in us. I find it hard to believe those would be the actions of a loving God. I suppose when I get raptured I’ll be able to ask him. If I get raptured that is.

I think Sunday will come though. I think we’ve got a long way to go as a people and quite possible as people of faith. Plus I’ll be damned if I’m just dropping all my clothes in the street. I really don’t want to go to heaven naked, unless I’m really drunk. Which I plan on being.

As a side note, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102757/ , yeah, The Rapture staring Mimi Rogers and David “I’m having sex with it right now” Duchovny.  (That’s what it says on his business cards, serious)