“So I’d like to
discuss your work performance issues with you Greg”, said Mr. Undertow.
Greg looked up from
his computer screen in his little shoebox size cubicle.
“Sir”, asked Greg.
“Yes, Greg, we
would like to discuss some of your work performance issues. Please come with
me”, said Mr. Undertow.
Mr. Undertow walked
away and Greg stepped out of him tiny cubicle world and followed. Greg could
only imagine what terrible thing he had done now. It was always something.
Either he wasn’t working hard enough or he wasn’t focusing his energy on the
right tasks or the client didn’t like him. It was always some kind of bull.
Greg was led into
one of the small conference rooms and he sat down in one of the uncomfortable,
second hand office chairs that seemed to have been lovingly plucked from some
pile of slightly fire damaged garbage. Greg could swear he could smell
brimstone. But then thought he didn’t really know what brimstone smelled like
having never been anywhere in the world because he was always at work.
“Greg”, began Mr.
Undertow, “we want you to know that we think you’re not doing enough to make
the client’s perception of you change”.
“I’m sorry? The
client’s perception”, asked Greg.
“Yes, you see, they
seem to think that their priorities are not your priorities and frankly we feel
the same way. You know our company motto, that we’re all in this together as a
team, and we just don’t feel like you’ve been a real team player lately.”
Greg thought for a
moment.
“Well, you see Mr.
Undertow. I have been going through a lot of personal issues and I’m not
inclined to talk to you about them. I have been going to therapy to try and
work out my frustration with this job and I’m hoping to have a breakthrough
real soon”, said Greg.
“Oh, I wasn’t aware
you were seeking any kind of, help”, said Mr. Undertow.
“Yeah, you know how
this company values a healthy home life. Well, I decided to try and follow
through with that philosophy”, said Greg.
“I see”, said Mr.
Undertow, “Well, I would think that in order to have a healthy home life you
should try to have a healthy work life too. So I just want to stress to you the
importance of having those reports to me no later than the end of the day. If
we can be a bit more proactive with the client’s priorities then it’ll go a
long way toward changing how they perceive you”.
Greg was seething
under his skin. He wished he had superpowers to crush all the corporate evil
doers into a pasty mush. Those reports. Those stupid reports. The reports that
took two days to compile but we wanted by the client in mere hours.
“The reports you
pulled me away from to have this meeting about making sure the reports were
ready for you by the end of the day. Those reports?”
“Yes”, said Mr.
Undertow.
Greg sighed and
said he would make sure to have the reports to Mr. Undertow before the end of
business. The meeting was over. Greg was dismissed and returned to his shoebox.
He sat in his chair and wondered what he
did to feel so miserable every damn day. Those criminals had stolen his life.
Greg’s phone rang.
He answered it out a sick sense of duty instead of just getting up and walking
away and never coming back.
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