I have spent a lot of today writing and erasing. There were several pieces I wrote concerning the passage of time, the concepts of aging and the benefits of perspective that comes with age. I wrote about the safe choices I have made. The foolish ones I regret and how I wear that regret on my face but hidden behind a boisterous laugh. Then I wrote about a guy with a pizza obsession.
So this article is later than usual. I’ve been having trouble gathering my thoughts into a coherent story or essay. I used up all my coherent thinking last night while wishing one of the dearest people in my life a happy birthday. We discussed certain things about each other and I actually was able to make a lot of sense. Direct honest expression seems to be one of my newly understood abilities.
It’s hard to write something relatable or concise while wallowing in memory or in thoughts of what could have been while simultaneously knowing what the heart can achieve. I wrote about the limitations of my heart, but that got erased too, since it’s difficult to write about one’s own limitations. In fact, it was almost too embarrassing to write. But then, maybe that’s what I should write about.
If it makes my face flush then perhaps it’ll make yours flush too and then we’ll be somewhere together, even if we’re not in the same place. Or I should erase that last sentence because It sounds flowery and silly. Almost like something out of fortune cookie.
Now all I want is pizza.