Hurry up, take your time

Sadly I cannot devote the appropriate time to this writing today. It's quite possibly one of the busiest Wednesday's I've had in a while. It's been non-stop since I walked in the door this morning. Just a rocket fueled cubicle blasting through the office corridors.

Couple thoughts though. All-Star game last night was boring. World Cup with Mexico and Paraguay was awesome and exciting. I'm a secret soccer fan it would seem. Who knew?

Wasting time

Charlie sat up in bed. He was incredibly frustrated with his inability to get some damn sleep. He’d gone to bed three hours ago and had been tossing turning the whole time. He was too hot, he was too uncomfortable. He was just thinking too much. He thought about reading for a while but the book he had been thumbing through lately had this graphic rape scene in it and it made him slightly uncomfortable. I mean, it was good writing if it made him feel uncomfortable, but at this point in the night it wasn’t what he needed.

He didn’t want to wake up Mary either. She could probably sleep through a garbage truck smashing though the side of the house, but click on the light and she’d be up and angry. So there was no need to tempt that kind of vicious fate. She had her head buried into the pillows next to Charlie. Her hair was flopped messily over her face.

Charlie laid back and tried to calm himself by listening to Mary’s quite and measured breathing. But her breathing started to get really annoying. It wasn’t the slow steady pace he thought it should be, but a rattling, haggard wheeze. She was so beautiful, but she snored like a monster. She often farted in bed too. Charlie loved her and he supposed he loved her imperfections even more, but right now; suffering through insomnia while she slept peacefully was close to driving him to murder.

The clock on the night stand rolled to 12:48 a.m. and Charlie stared at it. He had to get out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and start getting ready for work. He did the math in his head and thought that if he fell asleep right now he could make it through his busy day without being too tired and worn out. Math was good. It usually could help Charlie drift off to sleep. He didn’t much care for math. Although he was fascinated by big math, like quantum physics and the laws of large numbers or how they figure out certain algebraic calculations, and yet he couldn’t remember how to do long division anymore. It was one of those skills that atrophied right after school because he just never had to use it.

He realized that this train of thought wasn’t working. The math thoughts weren’t putting him to sleep. He rolled over again and put his hand on Mary’s side and felt her lungs and chest move with each peaceful sleepy breath. He was envious of her ability to fall asleep right when her head hit the pillow. He wasn’t sure how she did it. In the six years they’d been married she’d never had a sleepless night. He considered that maybe she was just at peace with herself and most things in her life while his life was a constant cavalcade of potential failure and self depreciation. He wondered what she ever saw in him and more matter of fact, what she was doing with him.  He was pretty sure he didn’t deserve her.

A fire truck revved up their siren on the distant busy street and peeled through the night. Charlie sat up again and rubbed his face with his hands. He saw his shadow on the wall from the bright moonlight outside. He looked at the clock again, 12:52 a.m. and sighed.  He swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up. He walked to the kitchen and got a glass of milk from the fridge. He sat at the counter and lit a cigarette and slowly drank his milk.

Rocket man

Today marks the final launch of the Space Shuttle Atlantis bringing an end to the 30 year old shuttle program. Its mission: delivery truck. Seriously, the final mission of the Space Shuttle program is to deliver supplies to the International Space Station. No Star Trek type mission to boldly go where no other space vehicle has gone before.

I’m sad to see the end though. The ability of mankind to let loose their earthy bonds is an incredible feat of engineering and intelligence and I whole heartedly respect it. The space shuttle was an incredible machine that, according to CNN, “carried 355 astronauts half a billion miles in space.” So basically it’s like saying, “Yeah, it kicked space’s ass”.

I remember when I was young and it seemed that every kid wanted to grow up to be an astronaut. Of course, after the various challenges and tragedies those inklings diminished some. But I still think it would be pretty amazing to see Earth from space or walk across the surface of the moon, or even explore space as no one has done before.

In 12 days Atlantis will return to Earth and be formally retired from service.  I know from what I’ve read that American astronauts will be hitching rides from the Russian Space Agency for future space trips, which I find really ironic since it was our competition with the Russian’s that really propelled the space program. I don’t know what the next space vehicle will be. There were several in the works but nothing seems to have come out as the front runner. I do find that a little depressing for America. We were leaders and innovators only to be stuffed back into Russian Capsules. I don’t remember losing the cold war or sticking my space suit thumb out, hitching a ride.

In any event, it’s Friday and writing this has taken too long already. I think I’ll get a burrito for lunch and keep my mind on earthly tasks. Aren't you glad you stopped by to read this? I am. Have a swell weekend you space cases.

Did I tell you?

God you look hot today. Seriously, it’s quite possibly the best I’ve ever seen you look. I mean the way that dress fits your body, I mean, it’s fantastic. I should have said more about it last night, but I was kind of at a loss for words. And the way you kept unwittingly teasing me with your constant fussing with it. My goodness it was awesome.

Those shorts you’re wearing are amazing. They really show off your smooth and silky legs. I know we say it all the time but, wow, it’s truly a sight to behold. I could watch you walk around in those all day. Watching you crossing them and uncrossing them could become a more popular national pastime than baseball.

That top is fantastic, the way it hugs your curves and shape. I can hardly resist staring at you. Not in a creepy, stalker way, but with a look of reverence and awe. I wish I could shake the designer’s hand for making the perfect garment for you.

Your skin is so soft. I wish I could spend hours just gently caressing every inch of you. In fact, it’d be my serious pleasure to do so. If I could establish an institute dedicated to gently touching you I’d do it. All I need is a grant from the NEA.

I felt your lips once and the mere thought of them touching mine sends electric waves all through my body. It heats my brain up so much that I can hardly stay focused on the chores and deeds I must participate in. I’m a puddle of mush looking to be re-formed at your gentle kiss.

I never knew what lost was until I looked deep into your clear and sparkly eyes. Everything else faded away as I drowned in your cool, attentive, eyes. They dance in my thoughts and I feel happy every time they happen to find me.

That smile, that big beautiful smile. How it makes my heart leap from my chest and dance the rumba across the bar. It makes me weak and strong all at the same time. Especially when it’s me you’re smiling at. I’d dance across the planet if I knew it was a smile for me.

That hug you gave me when I wasn’t expecting it. How you held yourself so close to me for that moment. It was a moment of fulfillment I won’t soon forget. A validation of what I might mean to you and how real it made me feel. I didn’t want you to let me go.

I didn’t tell you? Shame on me. Shame on me indeed. 

Empty page muse

It’s been a struggle to come up with a topic this morning. I’ve wavered between a Samurai story or maybe something about the legal system in light of recent rulings, but none of those words seemed to be sticking to the page.  They just didn’t seem to carry the proper weight or depth to hang correctly on this blank sheet.

In fact, I’m still having trouble getting these blasted words to stick to anything. Each new thought is quickly written, measured and erased as I can’t seem to put my finger on anything of consequence today. Maybe I’m just too busy. My phone has been ringing off the hook this morning.

Even good old CNN has let me down as I can usually find some headline that incites my fingers to fly across the keys, but not today. I can’t bring myself to care about the Casey Anthony verdict or the ongoing government hoopla. I’d rather have a nice cool beverage and relax at a bar. Maybe step outside for a cigarette and chat it up with the other local bar patrons.

I’m not in it today. My participation is purely rote and weak. It’s merely muscle memory that drives me into my cubicle today. It’s just the same answers to the same questions. So originality and creativity have taken a back seat to the doldrums today.

Perhaps there will be more to write about tomorrow; more outrages or hilarity to pique my interest. I’m not pursuing excellence today, just a little, “meh”, and a shrug.

I think I need a muse. Any volunteers?

Welcome back to your freedom

Wage slaves and disgruntled employees, hear me. This past weekend we celebrated the birth of our great nation and we reveled in the accomplishments of our forefathers so we might enjoy the best freedom can offer.

The most important part of the Declaration of Independence prescribed by the founders was this, Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Now just as a refresher, The Declaration of Independence is not a document of law governing the United States. It was merely a declaration to England that we weren’t going to put up with their crap any more. The phrase itself, “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”, is more a statement of theoretical ideology for a society. It is not a guaranteed right in the United States. That in its entirety, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”, it is clearly an idea, not a rule of law.

However, we do seem to feel that it is our unalienable right to achieve happiness or at least, the American dream holds some of that happiness for us. And yet, so many of us are still struggling with that dream in our waking hours. We go to jobs we hate or work incredibly long hours for the accumulation of goods that end up being meaningless trinkets. We kill ourselves doing things we despise just so that one day, maybe one day, our American dream will come true. The only way to really get that dream it seems is to work your ass off and there's no guarantee you'll be part of the 1% that makes it.

We have to work until our fingers are bloody and our back’s are hunched from years spent lifting or bent over a computer. And yet, we toil on, still hoping that American dream will come true for us. It’s no wonder so many Americans play the Lotto. We all want the riches America can offer but we’re not so sure about the work it actually takes to achieve it.  I know politicians have no idea what it really means to the average American to work and scrape for everything they have. To make decisions about taking care of a sick parent or working or paying for health care or losing a home. It’s sad that the American dream has become so distorted and those with the political wherewithal have done nothing to help.  

We are not lazy; we just hate what we’ve become. We need the right motivation to get our minds to remember what it means to have unalienable rights. We need our government to focus on the needs of the many and not of the few and get us back into the game and make it possible for those of us returning to work after a long holiday weekend, not to hate it so very much.

All we need is someone to really point us in the right direction and Americans can and will make their dreams of, Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, come true.

Now, get back to work. (Whip crack)

Happy Independence Day Weekend America

"Good morning. Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it's fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist, and should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on, we're going to survive.' Today we celebrate our independence day!"

President Thomas Whitmore
July 4th, 1996

I thought this would be wildly appropriate for the coming Independence Day. Plus it makes me laugh just a little. Where’s this President? Do you think he was re-elected as often as F.D.R.?  President Thomas “Kick Ass” Whitmore. I love it.

I hope everyone has a great and safe and maybe a little sexy at times, Independence Day weekend.  We’ll pick this up again on Tuesday.