Thursday, January 12, 2012


Since I took the time to spell it several times today already I believe I’ll use it; abominable.  I suppose I could have gone with Yeti but that might be a little too Himalayan for some. Are there any other animals out there with such a distinct name?
Sure, the Great White has a well deserved reputation, but The Abominable Snowman? No one has ever even seen one for sure and yet, he’s abominable.

I feel bad for poor old Yeti. He got a bad rap without ever being verified as actually existing. It’s alleged some newspaper man in the 1920’s mistranslated some Tibetan words for an article, perhaps for a little more colorful story, and coined the phrase. There were other names that pre-dated it though, like Miche` which was a, “Man-bear”, or the Migol, translated to mean, “wild-man” or, “Ted Nugent”.  The pre-Buddists called it Bon, a “Glacier Being”. But it was Abominable that stuck. I certainly think it’s better than, “Glacier Being”.

“Oooh, did you hear that?”
“That blood curdling roaring out across the snow?”
“Yeah, I think it was a glacier being.”
“Stop being lame and eat your elk.”

See, that doesn’t really strike fear into anybody. But if you change it to Abominable it takes on a whole new category.

“Oooh, did you hear that?”
“That blood curdling roaring out across the snow?”
“Yeah, I think it was an abominable snowman.”
“Let’s get the… AHHHHHHHHH! IT’S GOT MY ARM!”

See, much better. I’d run for my life for sure. But then there have been many variations on the demeanor of the Abominable Snowman; from gentle nature loving giant to violent blood drinking orgy attendee. It all depends on who is telling the story. Either way, no one has proven its existence so it’s all just winter speculation in the end.  Yet, people are still driven into the snows to find this elusive beast.

I wonder if there are Abominable Snowmen scientists working on the mystery of the hairless ape that keeps climbing these mountains and freezing to death. I can imagine it pretty clearly, a snow cave laboratory, with test tubes and beakers all filled with snow, while one Yeti in a lab coat and bifocals examines yet another vial of snow against the light.  Maybe there’s another Yeti sitting over an icy microscope looking at snowflake patterns, grunting that they all look the same to him.

At least they don’t have to work in a cubicle, now that would clearly be abominable. 

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