Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Nonsense Island

The purple footed hills of the Island of Cattygoina are filled with all types of vicious flesh eating plants. They prey on the be-speckled Boobyfish and the Rockbugs with an uncanny bloodlust. Take the violent Kernid plant. Its roots contain a poison so potent that one poke from one of its many spines would begin to melt the very flesh from your bone.  It then slurps up the gooey puddle of flesh with a long fibrous snout.  The Conandum Dogs know better than to prowl any of the grounds near the Kernid plants.

Closer to the beach areas even more wicked and horrifying sites wait to swallow you whole and spit your bones out in to the sea. Under the edge of the sand, where the grasslands meet the beach, lies the Vapor Frog. It emits a dense fog while stalking its prey, much like a broken gas main, in order to confuse and cause it to pass out. Once subdued, the Vapor Frog, which measures two and a half feet across, lashes out with a prickly tongue and pulls the disoriented prey into a mouth filled with rows of jagged, shark-like teeth.  

The Squealbirds that keep their three eyes constantly on the rocky shoals they inhabit are also quite dangerous. They are not great flyers but they are great at quick bursts of speed toward their prey. They use their bodies like lawn darts and hoist themselves skyward and then drop sharply and impale their scalpel like beaks into the bodies of their intended dinner.  They wear their prey around them similar to a life preserver for weeks as they slowly excrete an acid that dissolves the food and then is absorbed through the skin.

There are larger animals on Cattygoina Island but they appear to be the more docile of the creatures there. The trees further inland are filled with the Burry-Burry Squirrelcats. They seem to subsist on a diet of Rockbugs and the various sticky fruits that dangle from the Coocoonabei bushes. The bushes can grow up to seventy feet tall, and the sticky fruit can weight eight to ten pounds each. The Burry-Burry Squirrelcats can dangle from the branches of the Coocoonabei bushes over the fruit and gorge themselves on the sweet nectar inside. However, like most of the plants on the island, if you eat too much of the sticky fruit’s center, or pit, you can become violently ill. There are many Burry-Burry Squirrelcats that had to learn that lesson the hard way after their stomachs distend and explode onto the forest floor below.

As previously mentioned, the other large animals on the Island are the Conandum Dogs. They are similar in size to a Great Dane but share more features with a zebra or other equine. They travel in large herds and roam the grasslands in search of the sweet Cano Grass that grows wild on most of the island’s plains. They have long horse-like faces except for two large tusks that curl in front. They use them to forage and likely during their mating.

The largest animal on Cattygoina is the Dokodragon. It is a constant hunter of the Conandum dogs, but its numbers are very few. It is about the size of a Grizzly Bear but more closely resembles an iguana. It’s has reddish skin to camouflage itself in the tall Argo lilies and huge nostrils, in fact, they are larger than its eyes. Which don’t seem to be much use to the creature at all. The Dockodragon has feelers on its two front feet that scan the ground like a snake’s tongue as it stalks its prey.

We are lucky to have this information about Cattygoina Island. The only researcher ever to step foot on it was Dr. Richard McCallum. He was the only one brave enough to attempt to observe firsthand the incredible life on this ever mysterious island. He was able to transmit his field notes to the Institute for Higher Studies before his death from a sting in the chest from the Kernid root. The last words in his journal were, “I consider myself very lucky to have been able to bear witness to the amazing… Ooooh screw that, this island sucks, come rescue me, ahhhh it burns”.

We all honor Dr. McCallum’s memory and sacrifice for science. 

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