You're So Cool

            I can’t stand inspirational phrases. That poster with the cat barely hanging on to the tree limb, being told to “hang in there”, has always bothered me. I know that that cat is long dead. I know that the eventuality of our mutually shared finality got the better of that animal. It hanged in there and yet was its life better? Did hanging in there, perpetually gripping that tree branch, really prove to be a good life philosophy? Wouldn’t it have been better if the cat figured out how to climb down and do something else until that fateful day when its owner forgot to feed it for seven months? The flood of well-intentioned yet meaningless posters telling us all to just do things, or try things, or accept failure are perfect for this immediate gratification world. I hate it all.

             I don’t go in for the generic, fix it all with a phrase society we inhabit. We all have problems. Some of our problems are bigger than merely rising to challenges or overcoming adversity or going for a run to look at a young sapling struggling to reach up to the sun. Some of us have emotional issues, psychological issues, confidence issues, relationship issues, family issues, job issues, success issues and the regular inability to deal with the frustrations of daily life. Your cheap phrase about remembering the sun shines even on a cloudy day makes me think you’re an idiot. Thanks for the science lesson turned into a motivational statement, jerk.

            I think the only one; the phrase that really makes the most sense to me is simply: Be Cool. Seriously, just be cool. Just stop being a dick all the time and just be cool. Don’t put a valueless statement about kittens over the honest personal connections you have with people. Cool means being compassionate, honest, straightforward, and accepting without judgment. It isn’t easy to be cool either. There are tons of layers to being cool. I suppose that’s what makes it cool. It’s hard. It’s not just something you can slap a hopeful phrase on and expect everything to suddenly click into place and life will suddenly become clear and more focused. I certainly fail at being cool, often, and my life is fuzzy as hell.

I certainly hope this isn’t taken to be some sort of inspirational article. It’s not my intention to inspire, just to relay my sincere distaste for the crappy, boring, fake, useless, selfie obsessed, pandering to the lowest common psychological dollar. Everyone has issues, stop telling me it’ll be alright as long as I keep reaching for the stars. Do you know what happens when you reach for the stars, you burn up in the atmosphere. Stop looking at the stars and just remember that everyone has deeply rooted issues and your issues are not more important than anyone else’s. Stop preaching your self-actualization nightmares to all of us. Be cool damn it.

         Now, go back to living life to its fullest, keeping calm and carrying on, dancing like no one is watching, smelling the roses, making lemonade, walking on the bright side of the street, and keeping a stiff upper lip. I won’t get in your way.