Blasphemy

Jesus walked into a hotel and tossed three nails on the counter. “Can you put me up for the night?”

“Psssht, walking on water. Big deal. I can do the same thing when it freezes”.

As you can tell it’s clearly a religious holiday weekend and I’m feeling sacrilegious. It’s not that I have anything against Jesus. I think he was a hell of a guy. I mean, I’m not sure he meant to found a whole new religious way of thinking so the Jews could have someone to work on the weekends while they stood in hotel lobbies waiting for someone else to push the elevator button. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t his intent.

His messages of peace, love, forgiveness and keeping the temple free of Starbucks (Starbuckses?) resonates deeply with me and I think that was his real goal. Plus I think he had a great sense of humor. I can’t think of any truly charismatic leader that didn’t have a big smile and welcoming sense of humor. (We’ll just ignore that little Hitler fellow).

So when we do make jokes about Jesus or Easter or Jesus’ Dad it’s all in the same rich religious hilarious tradition that little lord Jesus probably had at his last supper. I mean it couldn’t have been all somber and betrayal. I’m sure at least one disciple had something funny to say when Judas ran off after being accused of being a traitor. I’m sure James the Lesser was all like, “Man, I thought he’d never leave. Can I have his slice of Messiah bread and cup of Christ blood?” Which I’m sure Jesus snickered at and waved a finger at him, “You….”.

It’s those people that don’t have a sense of humor about religion that really scare me. Those that have a cold, unquestioning, blind devotion to religious ideology and never crack a joke about Jesus or that other Middle Eastern religious guy makes me afraid. Belief without a sense of whimsy is dangerous. I don’t think making a few jokes about God and his weird family is all that bad. It almost lends some credence to the majesty of His creation. (If indeed we are from God’s cookbook). Those that shame me for being a little humorous about religion need to relax and know that any God that made me knows I have the capacity to be hilarious. And therefore shouldn’t be offended when I say something about how God’s put on a little weight.

I like that kid Jesus and his Dad. They’re a couple of crazy guys. I wonder if Heaven is all whoopee cushions, fart jokes and rubber chickens. What a funny idea.

“Welcome to heaven, here’s your rubber chicken”, said St. Peter, “watch out for the fake throw-up”.   

I hope everybody has a very peaceful and Happy Easter.