“DJ Yoga in the house,
got a fresh cup of frothy
enlightenment to serve up
with some wicked dance
beats,” shouted DJ Yoga.
“Is this guy for real,” I asked
the person next to me.
“You don’t know DJ Yoga?”
I shook my head in the negative.
The person snorted at me and
moved to another seat.
“Yo, yo, yo, we’re gonna get
our spirituality in tune with the
groove of the universe y’all,” yelled
I looked at the other people on the
train and some were weeping with joy.
Some were tearing at DJ Yoga’s tight
flannel yoga pants.
“Downward facing dog yo!”
DJ Yoga brushed his gloved hand through
his thick beard and then adjusted his
fedora. “We’re gonna get cosmic with this
new meditation beat yo,” he shouted at me.
“I’m not into this,” I said, “I don’t... you know,
do this stuff…,”
The deep bass of DJ Yoga’s mix scratched to a halt,
which was odd since it was on an iPod, and everyone
stared at me. A laser stare, as if they could rend flesh
from bone with mere hate.
“That’s alright baby,” yelled DJ Yoga in my face, “You’re
just not into it…yet,” as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“No, no. I’m a bit beyond that. I had gym as a kid,
so I’m good,” I said as I started to stand.
“You don’t want a piping hot cup of celestial
enlightenment and kick ass grooves,” asked a smirking
“No. I like my celestial enlightenment at
room temperature and my grooves mellow,”
I said as I moved to the train doors.
“Blasphemer,” whispered one of the riders.
DJ Yoga smiled at me with his golden teeth.
“That’s just a different path, that’s all,
DJ Yoga started his music again as we
pulled into the station and I got off
the train. The people I left were toasting
each other’s balance and woolen caps with their fair trade
blends. The doors closed behind me and the
train pulled away.