So I saw several Christmas themed television commercials yesterday. I had to rub my eyes in disbelief and shake my head back and forth like a cartoon character that had just been struck in the face with a skillet. Is it that time already?
This holiday season sure has arrived with unusual speed. It seems like just yesterday I was standing outside of one of my favorite bars, smoking a cigarette and complaining about how I was unable to stop sweating under the unbearable summer sun. I remember quite clearly the heat coming up from the scorched sidewalk blending with the heat from the sky above. It was like a convection oven. I remember wishing for a cool breeze and then remembered the bar was air conditioned so I went back in.
But now, it’s cold, rainy and gray and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I’ll take a moment not to gloss over Thanksgiving like most major corporations advertising on TV seem to do. Thanksgiving is a great holiday because there’s no giant expense involved. It’s basically, show up at a relative’s house and eat until you can hardly hold your head up. Now that’s a great holiday. No presents to buy, no major decorations or costumes to fuss with. Eat a bird, share a few laughs and go home. Maybe take some leftovers for some sandwiches later. It’s a good holiday.
I’m not sure why advertisers hate it so much. I suppose if I was a person of a different faith that might not actually celebrate Christmas; I might be a little frustrated with the immediate marketing blitz and the elves and Santa and the carols. At least Thanksgiving is relatively non-denominational and we can just celebrate it without dragging religion up to the table.
When I see these Christmas commercials so early I am reminded not of how jolly the Christmas season can be, but of how little money I have and how hard it is to buy people nice gifts when I barely have enough money to buy groceries for myself. I hope everyone likes the homemade macaroni art they’ll be getting from me this year. Oh, macaroni is sort of expensive, maybe pipe cleaners. It’s a Pipe cleaner Christmas.
I sort of wish advertisers would acknowledge how early they start their marketing for Christmas, like a commercial that says, “Hey, we know Thanksgiving is coming, but remember our Christmas lay-away plan. Okay, have a good Thanksgiving. See you at Christmas time. Bring money”.
I know that’ll never happen. The Norman Rockwell picture of a family Thanksgiving has been corrupted by Santa and his slave labor force; pumping out material goods to cram in our overstuffed need holes.
Chri$tma$ needs to take a break and let Thanksgiving get into the club and shake its thing for a while. It’s been so long, I’m sure Thanksgiving will do the Mashed Potato and maybe the Twist and probably get tired by then and need to sit down for a while. Then Chri$tma$ can get back on the floor and fist pump and all that.