Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas themed thing

Since we’re in the holly jolly-est time of the year I thought I should jump in on the ho-ho-holiday thing. I am a not a Christmas band Wagoner however, having been part of the Catholic faith since I was baptized. So I know a thing or two about Christmas. It’s about Myrrh or something, right?

Actually, I do know a lot about the whole Christmas tradition the majority of us now participate in. I also know about the lies. Yes, there are many Christmas conspiracies and a great many of them are completely legitimate. I’m sure most are familiar with the use of certain Christian dates to correspond with important pagan dates throughout history. It was done so the early Church could seem cool. Seriously, they were very California Surfer Dude about the whole thing.

“You’re solstice ritual is on December 25th”, asked the Church.
“Totally”, said the Pagan.
“Whoa, that’s so totally awesome ‘cause our savior was totally born that day too”, said the Church.
“No way!”
“Yes way! So you can like, totally celebrate your holiday on our holiday and we’ll like make it, like, one big awesome party”, said the Church.
“I don’t know about that, I mean we Pagan’s love to party, but I think that would upset our god”.
“You’ll party with us or we’ll totally crush you and your whole way of life”, said the Church.
“Cough… sounds like an awesome party, what should we bring”, said the slightly panicked Pagan.
“Virgins”, said the Church.

So that happened. I’m serious, that’s how it really happened. The next thing you know, Germans are cutting down fir trees and decorating them with candles and calling them Tannenbaum; creating years of fire hazards for generations. Merry Christmas, call your insurance guy.

In all seriousness, I do enjoy the intent of Christmas, regardless of denomination. I’m in favor of any holiday that is interested in peace and joy, in happiness and a hope for the betterment of all human kind. While its origins might be a little murky and I’m sure far too many people died in its defense or persecution, I’m happy to celebrate it with my family and friends.

Now that I got the mushiness out of the way, give me my presents and shut up.

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