Wednesday, December 7, 2011


“Hawaii is quite possibly one of the most peaceful places God ever crapped out when he squatted over the world. When God finished his business he used the Holy Toilet Paper to wipe his Holier Than Art Thou ass and tossed it to the side. It landed in the water and eventually became Japan”, said Sergeant Ross.

Three months had passed since the sneak attack on Pearl when Lionel Lark arrived at Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

“The Germans are the dingle berries that hung onto God’s ass until they just fell off on Europe”, continued Sergeant Ross.  

Lionel was now part of the 30th Infantry Division, 117th Regiment. He’d enlisted as soon as he could and was itching for a fight.

“And we’re going to knock all of their ugly teeth in”, finished Sergeant Ross.

Some of the other men cheered when the Sergeant completed his speech. Lionel did too.  He was 19 years old and was fiercely proud of his country and would do anything he could to help win the war. It was a typical story as far as he could tell. Most of the other guys around were all about the same age and seemed just as determined to knock some Kraut or Jap dick in the dirt.

Sergeant Ross walked up and down the line of the eager young men. He looked at each dead in the eyes as he passed, as if trying to gauge which might make it through boot and which would come home draped in a flag.

“I hope you men like running. I love running. So we will be doing a lot of it”, barked the Sergeant. “I don’t want you boys thinking you’re going overseas for a sewing circle. I want you fast and I want you lean”.

The Sergeant gave the order to start running and Lionel and the others took off at a mild clip. This run was the first of Lionel’s Army career and he was he wanted to make a good impression on the Sergeant. It was the first mistake Lionel made in the Army and one that taught him the best lesson. By the time they would finish boot and the rest of their long training he’d know better than to try and lead a charge or try to stand out from the other men. He’d learn that boys he was with now would become the men he’d need to lean on for the rest of his life.

But that first day, running in the sun, he didn’t know what hell was like and still imagined himself standing over a defeated Hitler, saying something like, “Take that Herr Asshole”, while smoking a victory cigar with Betty Hutton on his arm.

They ran for what seemed like days and when finally dismissed, Lionel promptly got back to barracks and threw up. This was going to be harder than he thought.       

No comments:

Post a Comment