Vincent Van Gogh’s paintings
were the setting for my latest
dream. A swirling universe
of bold bright colors set against
impossibly weird imaginings.
The dream started with drugs.
Hard drugs, cocaine and the like,
being discussed like a United
Nations counsel meeting on
water usage in Uganda.
It was all very professional
yet everyone involved seemed
high as kites and as amped up
as a tween at a One Direction
The subject then turned to a
new threat ravaging the world,
Stink bugs. These were not your
ordinary stink bugs, no, not at all.
These stink bugs were very furry.
And they communicated with
each other by farting.
These drugged out professional types
were rabidly discussing the terrors
of these fuzzy farting bugs in great
detail. The bugs are the size of your
fist and lie on their backs, and fart.
There was a large slide show projection
to show these hideous little critters on
their backs, farting to each other through
their puckered ani. Their furry bodies
shivering with each release.
The bugs had large suckers on
their faces, where a mouth should be,
they had thick black beards that transitioned
into a grey fur over their prone
and often rippling abdomen.
They took many deep quivering
breaths to fill their fart sacks.
It was very Naked Lunch in the
David Cronenberg sense, not the
Burroughs sense. But pretty close.
The bugs were a menace and the constant fart
noise was enough to make everyone
start taking drugs.
Apparently the only way to get
through your day was to be extraordinarily
high to avoid the constant sound
of the farting stink bugs and the rotten
odor they constantly produced.
My alarm clock went off,
I lay there for a moment, waiting
to hear the sound of the fart bugs,
but it was thankfully quiet save forthe roar of traffic on the street.